lava turds

Liquid shit that is so hot it oozes out of your ass like lava.

After eating the cheese rolls from Taco Bell, MArk had to drop off some serious lava turds.

by snarky1 May 24, 2009

Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.

After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.

by Lueckmans November 8, 2009

turd hearse

A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.

"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."

by oldgeezer March 6, 2010

Sonic Turd

(Adjective) A piece of music, song or album of such low quality that one's ear-drums have an experience similar to being shit upon, leading to the listener feeling violated, disappointed or filthy for having even been subjected to it.

Coldplay's new album 'Ghost Stories' is a sonic turd of awful proportions.

by Word Smith McGee May 23, 2014

Turd Smoker

A smoker of turds, and such; a person who enjoys the taste of rolled feces.

Man, that JJSINC is a real turd smoker.

by thefunkyfeelone August 22, 2018

Compass turd

A compass turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.

The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward turd

by fullyregressed January 15, 2014

turd squeezer

An alternative way of saying asshole. Typically this term is used to describe an individual who may very well be an asshole, but at the same time they are not worthy of your top shelf profanity.

Brian is just a useless turd squeezer. Not an asshole, because asshole would insinuate that , while having a shitty attitude, he actually tries to be a productive member of society.

by 23rd Chromosome April 6, 2016