Turf Turds

The little pieces of black rubber found in the astro turf on a marching field (aka football field). They get everywhere, and once there, they're impossible to fully get rid of... They're annoying, but they are a way of life. For the truly dedicated band student, finding a turf turd often triggers an episode of Marching Band Withdrawl.

It's been six months since the last time I was on a marching field, and I'm still finding turf turds in my shoes! Dang, I miss marching season...

by A Sharp Major July 7, 2020

Mouth Turd

When an intoxicated individual consumes too much food, and then begins to secrete a turd-like substance out the mouth, resulting in a turd shaped vomit. It is often found leaving serious skid marks

It was Chris' mouth turd. Looks like an orange shit.

by bighorse123 February 26, 2011

turd squeezer

An alternative way of saying asshole. Typically this term is used to describe an individual who may very well be an asshole, but at the same time they are not worthy of your top shelf profanity.

Brian is just a useless turd squeezer. Not an asshole, because asshole would insinuate that , while having a shitty attitude, he actually tries to be a productive member of society.

by 23rd Chromosome April 6, 2016

Turd Alchemy

An unproven, purely theoretical construct that the psychological disorder known as Golden Turd Syndrome is based on, which is the idea that one’s shits are “golden” and that one is a human god and therefore can do no wrong and should not be confined by the laws that apply to others.

Turd Alchemy is the underlying irrational and pervasive pseudoscientific delusion responsible for the ongoing deification of Trump and his cronies by so many of today’s Republicans.

by Dr Bunnygirl September 22, 2022

turd swirl

The tasty looking chocolate colored drawing crap makes as it takes it's playful last swim through the toilet bowl.

What's up with the turd swirl dude? Don't they have bowl brushes in Canada?

by Webster the great May 8, 2009

turd testicle

When you take a shit and it doesn't come all the way out so it just dangles like a testicle.

Bro 1: Damn, I just took the worst shit of my life yesterday!

Bro 2: Was it a turd testicle?

Bro 1: Yeee maan...

by jenny56868 August 13, 2011

Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.

After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.

by Lueckmans November 8, 2009