Monday

literally hell on Earth. Monday crushes your dreams and makes you feel helpless. It is the start of the week. Monday makes you want to commit suicide.

Jim: "Tommorrow is Monday!"
Bob: instant depression

by MasonWaller May 10, 2018

Monday bag

When you wake up on Mondays but are too lazy to go out and purchase a condom, so you use a ziplock bag

Hey dude, what was with all the noise last night?

-Sorry man, Jessica and I were having sex

Nice! Did you use a condom?
-Couldn't find one, so I used a monday bag

by Slamthatspam February 14, 2017

Monday

Something really shitty

Man this Tuesday is so monday

by moneymorebish March 8, 2017

Monday

A day where anything and everything bad will happen. Tsunamis will take place. Volcanoes will erupt. Aliens will abduct babies. Your boss will fire you (for no apparent reason).

"My five-year girlfriend broke up with me."
"Damn, man, I'm sorry. When?"
"Monday."
"Of course."

by madeine July 19, 2016

Monday

The day that you get to beat up a VSCO girl and hug an e-girl if possible. E-girls might not hug you back.

Hey Erica it’s Monday! Let’s go hug Jenna but let’s be carefull!

by Thatonepersonthatisdeppresed October 26, 2019

Miss school Monday

Tell your mom your sick then she’ll check your head and say “you’re fine” then check the calendar AND OMG ITS MISS SCHOOL MONDAY!!!

Miss school Monday is we’re you skip school on Monday

by Fuuuuk off November 3, 2019

Monday Morning Quarterback

A person, usually another’s arrogant boss or supervisor with lackadaisical work ethic. This turd will leave early the previous week because he can. On Monday Morning, they are ready to work more than ever, but just for a few hours, they start criticizing what took place after they left early, then start barking orders for the upcoming week. This person is usually a clown and not taken seriously by people who actually work and is not important enough to report others because he is afraid his lackadaisical work ethic will get him in trouble.

Ahh Monday, cant wait to hear what sergeant doosh has to say about the emergency repair we had to take on Friday. I bet he says it was too costly then disappears for the week. He is such a Monday Morning Quarterback

by Adiggy December 22, 2020