Orbital Wipe Sessions

When a large majority of obese people get together in a circle to wash each others nether regions.

Since I'm unable to reach my own ass to wipe, I have to coordinate weekly Orbital Wipe Sessions with my other fat friends to get things done.

by Mr. Gullible August 22, 2008

Waste basket wipe

When going for #2 and no toilet paper is available you use dirty kleenex for the waste basket

Was at Adam's the other night had to shit so bad he didn't have any tp so I didn't have a choice but waste basket wipe.

by Mike Stabb August 23, 2016

1000 Square Wipe

When you take a huge shit that requires a lot of toilet paper squares.

Tom: Sorry Jerry I missed the game, I had to take the 1000 Square Wipe

by DNJosh January 27, 2021

Alaskan wet wipe

The act of ejaculating on a tissue, freezing it and using it as an ice pack.

John fell down stairs last night when he was drunk so I gave him an alaskan wet wipe to help his wounds.

by Wet wiper October 16, 2021

One Wipe Tuesday

This is to be celebrated on the second Tuesday of every year. After taking a poop on this special day, you wipe your butt once, and only once. No exceptions. It doesn’t matter how large or smelly the poop is, you only wipe once.

Brett: Oh my god! Why do you smell like shit?!
Cameron: It’s one wipe Tuesday! Don’t tell me you’ve been wiping more than once!

by blaneficker January 12, 2021

the curse of a thousand wipes

The poop that never comes off your ass

I have benn plagued by the curse of a thousand wipes

by Poopguy12 September 7, 2020

fucken ass wipe

This person doesn't care about anyone else but themselves. They treat others like shit and don't care about the feelings of others as long as they get what they want.

Look at that fucken ass wipe on his cell phone racing up to the stop sign looking like he's going to blow through it. He doesn't even care that I had to slam on my brakes thinking he wasn't going to stop.

by jimmybomm June 22, 2021