Morning Watermelon

The female version of morning wood considering it is pink, wet, and edible. Usually worse if you dream about anyone with a name starting with D.

I’ve heard that cords really help solve morning watermelon.

by watermalone69 January 22, 2019

Morning slammer

A coffee induced, violent morning dump. Makes a “kerplunk” sound, a slam dunk of a deuce. Effects of which are amplified by a night of drinking.

Girlfriend: Here babe, made you a cup of coffee. How’s your hangover?
Boyfriend: Thanks, sweetie! It’s okay, my stomach hurts a bit from that 1am pizza though.

**10 minutes later**
Boyfriend: Holy shit!! I just laid a morning slammer. Where’s the plunger?!

by Elder Blice May 16, 2020

Morning Zombie

The first thirty minutes of waking up which requires: NO TALKING, NO HONEY-DO LIST, and A CUP OF COFFEE. If these things are not given, the person will experience bitchiness syndrome.

I'm a Morning Zombie when I wake up, so be careful.

by Maxwell Harper August 2, 2016

Morning Jogger

A morning jogger is an absolute wet wipe of a person. Boring, predictable, annoying.

Have you heard much from Lew and Jon?

No, they have turned into morning joggers .

by WeNeedaMedic January 19, 2019

morning bean

A daily newsletter based in and focusing on positive South Africa news stories.

Unlike you, I'm not depressed because instead of traditional media, I read Morning Bean.

by Lacracka2000 November 5, 2022

Showgirl Morning

An inability to commit to any engagement* earlier than mid afternoon due to grooming** requirements, preferably rising*** after 8-10 hours sleep. May involve a work of shame.

A Showgirl Morning includes adhering to a glamorous hair and makeup routine.

*Engagements frequently involve burlesque, socializing and dancing at vintage inspired events.

**Frequently involves 2 hour transformation including but not limited to wet setting hair, applying false lashes and red lipstick.

***May rise post sunset as determined by prior social activities and beauty sleep requirements of the individual.

See you at 2pm darling, Im 'having a showgirl morning....

by Eva Gardenia November 14, 2018

Morning Five

1. Taking five minutes in the morning to take care of your Morning Wood.

2. The five fingers used to masturbate in the morning.

I started my day with my normal Morning Five.

I shake with my Morning Five hand and giggle to myself, and no one knows.

by MonolithicNerd April 17, 2012