Closet mom

A woman who is not upfront about being a mother.

“I went in two dates with this hottie before she dropped the bomb that she has kids.What a closet mom

by Ubbhed September 7, 2019

Closet Faggot

Anyone that belongs to a group that can't be spoken of in a public setting, these groups usually only fuck people over.

YES I AM TALKING TO YOUS GUYS!!!

They would have promoted me but I told them I am not and will not be a closet faggot.

by Ragnar Funnies September 5, 2018

closeted marxist

When a person, who affiliates him/herself with stark conservatives, but at the same time displays deep affection towards socialist welfare states, then that person is a closeted marxist.

- Isn't it weird that Jack Posobiec is so busy talking 24/7 about how good it is to live in Poland?
- Yeah, since Poland is a socialist welfare state, with many Venezuela-like programs implemented using taxpayers money by the Kaczyński's PiS party government.
- Right! I guess he's just another closeted marxist.

by WhiteDudeFromPoland November 19, 2018

Closeted pedophile

Guys stuck in their 13 years old fantasies who are attracted to school girls and girls who dress very young with pink hair and anime/cartoonish vibes.

A- Dude check out this girl
B-WTF you’re a sick Closeted pedophile and you need help!

by Nihilistic Virgin May 31, 2021

Closet Fuck

When you take your girlfriend from behind while she's bending down to get something from the closet or lower drawer.

So yesterday, my girl was picking up her shoes, and I totally closet fucked her!

by dodddy July 26, 2014

closet christians

Athiests who harbor unreasonable resentment towards God. How can they resent something that by definition they don't believe in? Also, put any athiest on their deathbed and they'll be the first to pray for mercy.

"Oh my god, he's shooting at me! Please, God, don't let him kill me! NOOOOOOOO!" (bang bang)

by Myles McOmp March 27, 2004

closet pevert

a closet pervert is someone who act like they arent a pervert but the actually are

Regan (at school): im not a pevert or a closet pervert
Regan(at home):hay sierra look at this meme about dick cakes
sierra: regan your such a closet pevert

by elliebaby2002 November 27, 2017