calm your mom

an expression basically saying to "calm down" but in a more jokingly insulting manner, including the phrase "your mom". If someone says something really dramatically, that you can say "your mom" to, you can basically say "calm your mom".

Girl: "OMG that spider is UGLY."
Me: "Dude, CALM YOUR MOM."

by calmyourmom101 January 20, 2013

Calamivanche

An avalanche of dirty dishes caused by your wife leaving empty bottles of water around carelessly that start a Mouse Trap like chain of epic events that ends with something heavy landing on your foot and nearly cutting off your toe.

I go to get a clean spoon out of the silverware drawer. A large Empty bottle of my wife's water tumbles onto my hand, knocking the spoon out of my hand. In an ill fated attempt to catch both the water bottle and spoon, my elbow hits a frying pan left on the stove, which propels into the air, landing on the Foreman grill which then falls on its side and the lid flips open and hits an open bag of flour that spills everywhere creating a white cloud that covers my face causing me to stagger, temporarily blinded, stubbing my toe on the rubber broom sticking out into the room, sending me stumbling into a stack of dirty dished waiting to be washed, and the stack crashes to the ground. I then bend down to pick them up, and sharply hit my head on the cupboard when standing back up. The heavy glass lid from the frying pan falls off the counter from the thump of my head on the cupboard. It falls off, hitting my foot nearly cutting off my big toe. This is a fully blown Calamivanche.

by Lucien V May 15, 2014

Callum Wood

Writer of the Cha Cha Slide

Callum Wood wrote the Cha Cha Slide

by notcallumwood September 18, 2014

Calm Thy Undeveloped Nipplet

Da Nipplet should calm

Waverider_ : Calm Thy Undeveloped Nipplet

by Bobbiethesexyllama May 17, 2015

calm your nuts

Like "calm your tits" but nuts, ie. balls

Guy 1: "I can't believe ____'s been dickin around with my girl! I outta fuck that guy up!"
Guy 2: "Dude calm your nuts!"

by Manateecup July 29, 2015

calm yo grits

A hermit crab version of calm yo tits
Used by protective parents. Some kids never grow out of it.

Person1: I hate you!
Person2: Whoa! Calm yo grits.
Person1: Wth does that mean!?
Person2: Calm down, my mom said it was a common saying...

by Parkderp1 October 9, 2016

calm your bird

Pet birds are loud, obnoxious animals that never shut the fuck up and that seriously harsh the vibe of any social gathering with their screeching orations. You'd be pissed too if you knew how to fly but were stuck in a cage.

Calm your bird means stop freaking out like a caged bird and harshing the vibe. Either shut the fuck up, or go be free elsewhere.

Joe: "MAN DO YOU SEE THAT GUY? I THINK HE LOOKED AT ME MAN. I THINK HE WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING. I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM. I'M GONNA PUT MY FIST RIGHT UP HIS ASS!"

Cool Pete: "Joe. JOE. You're high on acid and cocaine and you saw yourself in the mirror. Calm your bird."

by LicensesToStone May 24, 2016