Alan (noun):
1. The rare breed of husband who is equal parts best friend, partner in crime, personal hero, and expert eye-roller. Known for tolerating ridiculous amounts of nonsense, fetching cups of tea without complaint (mostly), and having the patience of a saint. Warning: once you get an Alan, you’ll never want to trade him in.
2. A mysterious creature who can simultaneously be your soulmate and the reason you want to scream into a pillow. Special skills include selective hearing, telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment, and doing that “husband sigh” for dramatic effect. Still, you wouldn’t swap him… unless Jason Momoa was available.
3. The ultimate plot twist in life’s story — part best friend, part lover, part comedy act. Always there to hold your hand when things get tough, and usually the reason you’ve got butterflies in your stomach 20+ years later. May also come with a side of snoring and duvet-hogging. Also doubles up as the best dad your kid could ever hope for.
WARNING LABEL: May cause uncontrollable laughter, random butterflies in your stomach, epic dad moments, unexpected dog-cuddle theft, and the occasional need to evacuate a room.
1. The rare breed of husband who is equal parts best friend, partner in crime, personal hero, and expert eye-roller. Known for tolerating ridiculous amounts of nonsense, fetching cups of tea without complaint (mostly), and having the patience of a saint. Warning: once you get an Alan, you’ll never want to trade him in.
2. A mysterious creature who can simultaneously be your soulmate and the reason you want to scream into a pillow. Special skills include selective hearing, telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment, and doing that “husband sigh” for dramatic effect. Still, you wouldn’t swap him… unless Jason Momoa was available.
3. The ultimate plot twist in life’s story — part best friend, part lover, part comedy act. Always there to hold your hand when things get tough, and usually the reason you’ve got butterflies in your stomach 20+ years later. May also come with a side of snoring and duvet-hogging. Also doubles up as the best dad your kid could ever hope for.
WARNING LABEL: May cause uncontrollable laughter, random butterflies in your stomach, epic dad moments, unexpected dog-cuddle theft, and the occasional need to evacuate a room.
• “Stop being dramatic and get yourself an Alan — mine just carried all the shopping, fixed the WiFi, and still had time to laugh at my worst joke.”
• “ Ugh, my Alan just stole cuddles from the dog and then let out a fart so powerful it cleared the living room — but he still had me laughing.”
• “Everyone needs an Alan — he’s the reason I believe in happily ever after (even when he snores loud enough to wake the neighbours).”
• “ Ugh, my Alan just stole cuddles from the dog and then let out a fart so powerful it cleared the living room — but he still had me laughing.”
• “Everyone needs an Alan — he’s the reason I believe in happily ever after (even when he snores loud enough to wake the neighbours).”
by Bionic Scout September 11, 2025
Get the Alanmug. ALAN IS SO HOT HE IS A CURLY HEAD MAN ALL THE GIRLS WANT HIM HE HAS A HUGE PENIS THAT LOADS OF CUM GET OFF OF HIM PLS DATE HIM
ALAN THE MAN
by alaniscute May 19, 2022
Get the Alanmug. 
Autistic school where most kids act baked and are nic addicts or the rest are skipping in the b wing where there is the most security but 0 people go in the bathroom, also the extreme double standards by the teachers is truly amazing, lots of smuck up white rich kids that think they know it all but will never engage in a fight, the fights are meh besides the one edgar mexican that only wants to fight yes mf im talkin bout u every fight ur in it, fuck mr kane that gay old nigga gave me a 3 hour.
by Mexican mf April 14, 2022
Get the Alan b shepardmug. Alans are funny, outgoing but when they need to, they are persuasive and stern, often being overly excited about learning new things.
They are also one of the most common polish names.
They are also one of the most common polish names.
Person 1: Did you see Alan in class yesterday?
Person 2: Yeh man, he was on rapid fire!
Person 3: yeah sad that the teacher didn’t let him answer a couple of times. What a bombaclaat !
Person 2: Yeh man, he was on rapid fire!
Person 3: yeah sad that the teacher didn’t let him answer a couple of times. What a bombaclaat !
by NotoriousSimi December 3, 2020
Get the Alanmug. A sexy sigma male.. all ppl love him and want to be him bc he’s just so cool. He definitely has 12 pack abs and is around 6 foot (talkin about his monster shlong) he’s probably 5’10 tho. He’s still sexy asf and all the Celebs want him but he’s really loyal to his gf.
by Alphamale2334 November 21, 2023
Get the Alanmug. by xdXXXdragon January 6, 2021
Get the Alanmug.