Schrodinger's Fap

An allegory for a terrible porn addiction.
At any given point you are either fapping or not fapping, like your the cat and fapping is the poison.

Paul: "Dude, I can't stop thinking about titties, it feels like at any time im liable to breakdown and masterbate"
Patrick: "well it sounds like your going thru a case of Schrodinger's Fap"

by Founder of Shrodinger's Fap April 29, 2022

spite-fap

Fapping to someone you find morally reprehensible, like Adolph Hitler fapping to Sarah Silverman.

I only watch Fox News to spite-fap to Megyn Kelly.

by Walter Duckface September 12, 2015

Fanta fapping

The art of dismembering ones hand and using it to masturbate

Ian "rick, have you ever tried fanta fapping "?
Rick "no whats that"?

Ian" look it up on urban dictionary"

by Jumont 357 October 19, 2016

pogo fap

The very difficult task of wacking off while on a pogo stick.

Did you hear about Tommy Wommy Womsters? He tried to do a pogo fap and he wiped out and broke several bones. Now the poor guy can't even cuff his carrot.

by Annoying Little Dad April 24, 2023

butterfly fap

When you lube up your feet and sit Indian style, with bottoms of your feet facing each other and use them to beat your dick.

My mom caught me butterfly faping last night while I was on pornhub.com

by Mark Camry April 27, 2015

fap leather

The cloth that you use to wipe up the semen after masturbating, the name comes from the cloth becoming stiff like leather from all of the use that it gets.

Person one: Hey Joey! I need to get a new fap leather.
Person two: yeah me to mine feels more like a brick than a cloth.

by MrMaclroy July 17, 2018

mega fap

When you fap so hard your dick bleeds

I mega faped and it hurt but felt good

by Giamt anus alex December 15, 2017