Turtle Fucker

n. A poorly functioning computer

Person 1: Did you get the email I sent you?
Person 2: No. My computer is being a turtle fucker.

by Cookies for Pilgrims May 9, 2009

dirty turtle

A dirty turtle is when you are fucking a girl (or guy) from behind on the floor. Just as you are about to ejaculate, you run their head into the wall, knocking them out unconcious. Once knocked out, ejaculate all over their stomach, and watch them while they lay on their back helplessly, just like a turtle.

My girlfriend woke up on the floor in a state of confusion after i gave her a dirty turtle.

by Rueskibob37 November 9, 2008

Turtle Jerk

Turtle Jerk is when someone is giving a handjob and covers the head of the penis so when the male ejactulates cum wont spray all over. It's named after the handforming a shell, as in turtles having shells.

Now Sandy, be smart. Turtle Jerk me. I mean, this is a new couch...

by www.geocities.com/project_fallen June 7, 2004

Peaking Turtle

When you have to take a shit to badly that the tip of the poop is coming out of your asshole.

can't talk, sorry! I have a peaking turtle!

by CassidyFapia March 1, 2011

Raunchy Turtle

Describes a dance in which the hands are put in a fist, and put up near your face like you are driving like and old person, and move side to side.

Dana: WHat are you doing?
Alex: The Raunchy turtle, what else?

by Alexander "Rookie" Smith April 8, 2008

Turtle Catting

When you crawl around on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 with a riot shield on your back the whole match

Holy shit why the hell can't I kill that bitch on the ground? He's Turtle Catting that's why

by Mr Pie007 February 17, 2010

Red Turtle

the first shit that you pump out of your ass after a rock hard cock has been in it, causing bleeding such that the tip of the shit is coated in red blood.

she told me to pull out cause she was gonna drop a red turtle in my mouth, but instead she smeared it all over my chest

by in the out hole December 24, 2007