Jared

Small dick nibba. Can only date the fat girls even though he is 5 foot and has a buzzcut. Jared is the kid nobody really likes and is secretly gay.

person 1: "why does jared like the fat girls?"
person 2: "cause they're desperate"

by yaw yark June 4, 2019

Jared

Missing hair follicles, extremely bald. Has a one-piece character build. Overall a 1 in looks. Knows his way around a women. Not the sharpest person in the room.

Jared’s bald as shit

by MaxtheMeattree March 8, 2024

Jared

His jawlines, shoulders, and muscles are the best! You have to think about what he looks like nude, you might not be gay though. ;)

"I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles push against his fashion sense. I've thought about what he looks like nude, I'm not gay though. >:("
"Yeah! Jared's jawlines, shoulders, muscles are the greatest!"

by Storyswap Chara August 22, 2021

Jared

The man that stole Wilbur's waman

In 'Your New Boyfriend' by Wilbur Soot/Will Gold; he sung the lyrics "Yeah I've met Jared- (of course I've met Jared)".

by sleepyhead<3 October 11, 2021

Jared

He's such a cute nerd he may not think of himself as being cute but I promise he is one. He often loves to play basketball with his pals and he is just goofy that his looks won't even matter to you because he will make you laugh every single time

Person:I have a crush on Jared

Person #2: Omg Jared! He is so cute can't wait until I find myself my own Jared

by Holymoly August 28, 2017

Jared

A fuck boy who only wants girls for sex and doesn’t value actual love. He is also a liar, but not a good one because the truth always comes out. He is extremely toxic and obsessive in relationships.

That boy is so stubborn & rude
He’s probably a Jared

by Vhfu bf sun March 5, 2020

Mayonnaise jaring

The act of nutting in one’s butt then shoving a butt plug in the hole.

Person: Hey did you know George is well known for mayonnaise jaring?

Other Person: Really! I better go ask if he’s taking appointments!

by chumpaIumpa March 21, 2022