wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which

You can take all of your wishes and wants, dreams, desires, and prayers, and put them all together....they still do not amount to shit.

Dad, I want a pony! Well, you can wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up faster.

by Papa Bubbles November 5, 2017

one hit quit shit

The dankest of the dank, marijuana with a very high thc content (one hit quit shit is usually around 19-20% thc). Thus you don't need to smoke more than one hit to be really high.

White Widow, Black Russian, and Matanuska Thunderfuck are all strains that qualify (if properly grown and cured) as official one hit quit shit!

by King Barley February 2, 2007

no one gives a shit

seriously no one gives a shit about anything you post about urban dictionary on your story

no one gives a shit, stop fucking posting these annoying ass screenshots

by christopherstagram November 23, 2021

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

A reply given to someone who wishes for something because a part of their life is unfair, basically stating that life is full of good and bad things. In essence, wishes mean nothing.

This is the earliest version of the saying, with the reference to Germans eating shit coming from American soldiers in WWII.

You know what they say Ted: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

by Bill Tetley June 19, 2011

THAT ONE TIME YOU HAD TO SHIT

that one time i had to shit butt you where not in a posision to do so and you also shat yer self

that one time you had to shit in a buss ou shit i shat myself

by CAPTAIN-DUCK August 1, 2020

Nothing in one hand and shit in the other

Neither of your two options are good. But one is just plain out shitty.

Jimmy: Unemployed David has a job offer for only $5hr.
Billy: Well he’s got nothing in one hand and shit in the other.

by Juice delhagen April 28, 2022

Hard to give a shit when you have to take one

The unignorable barely containable urge to take a crap.

For example: You and your mother hurriedly crossing a busy street to the nearest bathroom when she suddenly falls down as you see a bus in the distance quickly closing the gap between it and her. You scream an apology without missing a step asking the other pedestrians to please help her in lue of you trying to save her and shitting your pants in the middle of the road.

For example: You and your mother are hurriedly crossing a busy street to the nearest bathroom when she suddenly falls down and in the same instant see a bus in the distance quickly closing the gap between it and her. You scream an apology without missing a step asking the other pedestrians to please help her (in lue of you trying to save her and shitting your pants in the middle of the road). This would be a case of it being hard to give a shit when you have to take one.

by RyDawg2000 August 5, 2022