Vicious imaginary beasts, 2 meter high (about 6 feet) and 5 meters long (not including the tail) fire-breathing turtles, with a long spiked dragon tail which they uses to whip and pierce their victims with. Another one of their evolutionary gifts are very powerful triangular jaws, that end with a point, with which great pressure could be applied on a single point of something unfortunate enough to be caught in between them.
Dracoturtles existed up to the middle ages, secluded in caves, usually near volcanos, everflowing rivers of lava, or other hot places. When knights came to slay them, they used their immensely powerful jaws like a can opener, to open the armour of the knight.
At winter when there were less knights,
they had to resort to kidnapping princesses so valiant knights would come and rescue them.
With the passing of the middle ages and the introduction of gunpowder to the world, they were extinct, together with their more deadly brothers - the dragons.
Turtles, however, were not considered dangerous by the humans and so were not slain... But they are... and one day... expect the turtles to exact revenge upon the foolish humans who killed their brothers.
The imaginary beasts are used in no book, in no movie, by no person... but they should.
Also see: Shlomo the Camel
Dracoturtles existed up to the middle ages, secluded in caves, usually near volcanos, everflowing rivers of lava, or other hot places. When knights came to slay them, they used their immensely powerful jaws like a can opener, to open the armour of the knight.
At winter when there were less knights,
they had to resort to kidnapping princesses so valiant knights would come and rescue them.
With the passing of the middle ages and the introduction of gunpowder to the world, they were extinct, together with their more deadly brothers - the dragons.
Turtles, however, were not considered dangerous by the humans and so were not slain... But they are... and one day... expect the turtles to exact revenge upon the foolish humans who killed their brothers.
The imaginary beasts are used in no book, in no movie, by no person... but they should.
Also see: Shlomo the Camel
by Yaly Sela August 30, 2005
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a used tampon. due to it resembling a tea bag (the string), and being full of blood would make a nice brew for dracula :)
i wanted to fuck my missus but she had a draculas tea bag in.
my bird was on, as i found when i stuck my fingers in and touched dracula's teabag
my bird was on, as i found when i stuck my fingers in and touched dracula's teabag
by hanz weiss December 13, 2003
Get the draculas teabag mug.Definition: 17th century sexual tactic that local Transylvanian women would practice when they wanted Dracula to swoop in unbeknownst and deliver a thick midnight piping. See: moon poon. Women would shave their nether-regions to the match the shape and size of Dracula's soul patch. So that when the soul patches unite, they mend together like Velcro, and Dracula sucks her living soul out of the vagina.
Definition 2: A sponge of juice. Containing DNA samples. Especially Winona Ryder's. Everyone's had a ride.
Definition 2: A sponge of juice. Containing DNA samples. Especially Winona Ryder's. Everyone's had a ride.
example: "Johnny Jr, what do you think has seen more pussy, Dracula's Soul Patch or Dr. Robotnik's crusty creepy old mustache?"
by DrDoodleDandie February 19, 2018
Get the Dracula's Soul Patch mug.1. The worst movie ever made... ever. It contains no plot, comedy, horror, propper costumes, violence, action, or nudity. I feel embarassed to be living on the same planet as this movie.
2. Anything that's blatantly and insurmountably bad.
2. Anything that's blatantly and insurmountably bad.
1. Joe: I watched Dracula 3000 yesterday... now I have syphilis.
2. Man, that cake was so Dracula 3000.
2. Man, that cake was so Dracula 3000.
by zaven July 20, 2008
Get the Dracula 3000 mug.Luke used to be cool until that fun dracula Lindsey started dating him.
We call her the fun dracula because of the way she sucks all the fun out of our lives.
We call her the fun dracula because of the way she sucks all the fun out of our lives.
by Ben Schick February 10, 2007
Get the fun dracula mug.by Zen_Bastard December 16, 2012
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