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couch safety

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Noun: A place of safety or refuge from social outcast, embarrassment, and ridicule constructed via cushion, fabric, and puffs; an inlet of refuge from post-intoxication induced stupidity and promiscuity; the vessel in which one watches horror films, psychological thrillers, or consumes the Domino's pizza (occasionally by the grace of sirmarmasir, all 3 at a time).
"Yo gypsy, you think you're in couch safety right now? You're not - get back to the frialator and don't be stealing no McNuggets!"

"Judy enveloped herself in the swaft of couch safety and began her on-demand rental of 'The Ruins'...'Ah' she thought to herself, 'what a perfect Sunday afternoon'."
by SirMarmASir October 10, 2012
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couch shopping

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When you are homeless, and you are calling anyone and everyone you know hoping they will let you sleep at there house, on the couch.
Dennis, a homeless-jobless old man is couch shopping - trying to find someone/anyone who will let him crash at their place and sleep on the couch.
by BBDinOC April 6, 2017
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couch shaman

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Person who shows up and gets in cool with people for sounding very wise. He never has any money because he's eschewed all concepts of ownership or slavery to materialism. He will sleep on your couch for as long as you let him, eat your food, drink your booze, bum cigarettes off of everyone, smoke your weed, and probably try to fuck you or your partner, if you're not around, depending on what he's into. In return for all of these things, he will grace you with the endless font of wisdom that pours from his mouth when he's stoned/well-fed/drunk/sexually sated.
Man, I know that couch shaman sounds like a cool guy, but he ate all my chips while I was at work and walked in "accidentally" on my girl in the shower; he's gotta GO.
by Accedendum June 4, 2018
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You get so high you can't get off the cough or jus can't function
by Ebisedo June 28, 2018
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Orange Couch Surfers

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Any person that was alive during, remembers or is a fan of SNICK. Also see snickers
Can you believe how many Orange Couch Surfers showed up for the finale of Pete and Pete?
by JBOSSMAN April 7, 2011
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couch shit trap

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the act of shitting between two couch cushions and letting an unexpected person sit on it
after i took that couch shit trap i put a video camera on the wall and taped steve while he sat on it
by jommy cash February 2, 2010
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Couch Surfer

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homeless, jobless, loser, with no money, bumming around to find anyone that will let him sleep at their home for free.
"Dennis The Loser Rey", the Ultimate Couch Surfer, and 3-time convicted felon - unable to get a job, pay rent, find a woman, or even sell is shitty artwork to scrape up enough coin to buy a bean burrito, is couch surfing - desperately looking for a naive sucker with a place to plop is fat ass on their couch.
by BBDinOC April 6, 2017
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