Westminster Hammer

A sexual position in witch the receiver is laying on their neck with there legs straight up in the air and the giver behind and over top holding up the legs of the receiver. The Hammer part is when the giver begins to squat down.

(jess) My back is killing me,
(jen) Whats wrong?
(jess) Darrell Westminster Hammereed me lastnight.
(jen) Oh!

by Kagg January 25, 2010

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 14, 2024