Welcome to Turretner Bitchtels! Home of the FAKE, and if not the fake, home of lying, cringy, ugly, drug selling and, useless sluts. Nothing says Turner Bartels like stolen phones, unathletic black kids, racist teachers, annoying grade sluts that think everyone loves them, weird ass Indians, and kids that won’t hit puberty until there mid 30’s. A good thing is if your lucky you might find a slut that actually has cleavage instead if every flat girl in the school, but watch out! 90 percent of them have aids so... In conclusion if your looking for a shitty school with constant bullying by teachers and used old pussy, Turner Bartels is the place to go!
by Bo111 February 16, 2018
Get the Turner Bartels k-8 mug.Tanner has a huge heart for everyone. Tanner has very few friends. He’s the guy who always keeps his head up, but has been pushed down so many times by others that he has a drive like no other. Nobody appreciates him. He’s always been rejected. This made him think he wasn’t good enough. It’s why he got extremely good at everything. Its hard to get Tanner to dislike you. Tanner appreciates everything. He is probably the most attractive person I’ve ever met. He has a perfect body. He is also good at every single sport. He is incredibly fast and has superhuman strength. Tanner is the TOUGHEST person I’ve ever met. Though Tanner hates fighting. If you try to fight him he will destroy you. You will find him practicing for a sport or working out. He will still drop everything for the ones he loves. He has gone through a lot. If you hear someone hate on Tanner it’s probably a lie because he doesn’t have much about him to hate on. He is a freaking genius. He will say things that you think about and remember forever. He knows tons. He’s surprisingly one of the wisest people you’ll meet. He knows lots about everything. He has a lot bringing him down. He’s gotten strong enough to live life and help everyone else first with the knives in his back and the weight stacked. If Tanner shows sadness somethings seriously wrong. He will smile at you with a tear in his eye so you don’t cry. Tanner is great give him a chance.
“Aww, Tanner is so good with little kids.”
“Why does it seem like Tanner is always happy?”
“How in the world does Tanner know all this?”
“Wait Tanner is good at singing too!?!”
“Why does it seem like Tanner is always happy?”
“How in the world does Tanner know all this?”
“Wait Tanner is good at singing too!?!”
by Yoooooooyoooooooo January 8, 2022
Get the Tanner mug.Ex: My baby with his crazy ass hands tries to Captain Turner me all the time.
If you don't quit looking at me, I'm going to Captain Turner your ass.
This movie is so horrible, I'm about to Captain Turner myself.
That girl is so ugly, it makes me want to Captain Turner my ass.
In the third season of Deadwood, Danny (Al Swearingen's bodyguard) and Captain Turner (George Hearst's bodyguard) have a showdown in the thoroughfare which results in Captain Turner getting his eyeball removed by Danny's index finger. It's pretty fucking nasty.
If you don't quit looking at me, I'm going to Captain Turner your ass.
This movie is so horrible, I'm about to Captain Turner myself.
That girl is so ugly, it makes me want to Captain Turner my ass.
In the third season of Deadwood, Danny (Al Swearingen's bodyguard) and Captain Turner (George Hearst's bodyguard) have a showdown in the thoroughfare which results in Captain Turner getting his eyeball removed by Danny's index finger. It's pretty fucking nasty.
by BSwannie April 8, 2012
Get the Captain Turner mug.A "Taint Turner" is the official term for a double rim job in which two people lick each other's butt holes AT THE SAME TIME. It's kind of like "69" except one person must arch their back in order for the deed to be achieved. It is not for the faint of heart or Mormons.
by Rimmy Jimmy March 13, 2014
Get the Taint Turner mug.A faster talker and swindler of empty promises, tall tales entice his victims while imagery of stock piled gold deposits, crude silver, and coinage hordes are used as a human mouse trap and the receiver is a human burned victim
I thought I was being a good person and before I knew it the Nate Turner was already in full swing and I was out $400.
by ScumbagPoet May 22, 2020
Get the Nate Turner mug.ALEXANDER DAVID TURNER IS LIKE THE SEXIEST MOTHERFUCKER OF ALL THE SEXY MOTHERFUCKERS TO ROME THIS PLANET. He’s so photogenic and awkward and doesn’t know what’s going on around him. He’s really bipolar with his fashion and can’t make his mind up with what hairstyle he wants. Some people will say that he doesn’t know how to sing but bruh he obviously does if he’s come this far with his music 🙄🤚🏻. Or maybe it’s just his SEXY MOTHERFUCKIN SELF THATS ATTRACTED ALL THE GIRLS.
by Someone took me name July 23, 2021
Get the ALEX TURNER mug.(n) a three step, multi-person, alcoholic shot, typically taken with jaegermeister or tequila, but that can be performed with any hard liquor. The three steps include (1) taking the shot (2) the shooter's friend or passerby then douses the shooter with a glass of water to the face (3) that same person or a third person then slaps the shooter on the cheek, relatively hard, but not too hard.
My favorite shot? Oh, that's an easy one, it's a Wet Tina Turner! You forget about how bad the liquor tastes because you immediately get hit with a glass of water and slap to the face!
by SlappedTooHard123 March 10, 2017
Get the Wet Tina Turner mug.