Septic Badger

A person who picks their butt for crap flakes and saves them up to eat later.

Guy 1: What do you want to eat?
Guy 2: Oh, I'm fine. I just ate all the crap flakes I'd saved up this week.

Guy 1: Oh my god, you septic badger...

by Serjeh Somogath March 5, 2010

septic shock

when you stick a hotdog up ya booty hole

you get septic shock if you stick a dirty dawg up ya coochie

by MYFRENDING February 9, 2021

septic slurper

one who commits the act of digging up a septic tank, cutting off the top, and proceding to slurp up the shit inside. Often, swimming can occur as well

mike panz is a fucking septic slurper

by RAMROD October 10, 2003

Septic Nark

When getting your septic pumped, the man finds multiple condoms floating at the top of the shit and says something about it (a result of young boys flushing their condoms down the toilet trying to be sneaky)

"Man, thought it was a good idea to flush the connies down the toilet so no one would find them, but that Septic Nark found them floatin there and got me totaly busted."

by Peter Grandview April 1, 2008

Septic Kiss

When solid output into the toilet is ongoing, you flush while still seated to "clear things up." The toilet clogs (unbeknownst to you!); the water rises up and kisses your ______.

"Honey, you just took a shower...why are you in there again?"

"Oh my GOD! I got Septic Kissed!"

by Elk e summer September 20, 2011

septic nuggets

A smooth, sometimes bumpy, textured chocolate colored nugget sized substance found within the septic waste tank. Caused by the formation of dispersed miniature fecal matter released from what is known as the anal gland.

I would love to find myself a bunch of scrumptious septic nuggets in your septic tank. Maybe we should pitch this idea to Mc' Donnald's.

by Mc' Nuggin' it December 4, 2015

septic mound

The sexual act of taking a shit on your girlfriend/boyfriends chest. Same as hot carl.

I just laid a septic mound on susans chest.

by Septic mound October 21, 2017