she's left-handed

A punchline to a popular joke involving a man and his wife who asks him a purely hypothetical question, "If I died, would you remarry". The punchline, for those of you who don't get it, is explained at the very bottom of the example.

A young married couple are taking a nice stroll down a long and rather winding road. There was a long way till they got home and there was plenty of time to have a long drawn-out conversation, so the wife decided to ask her husband a question she had on her mind for a long time:
Wife: "If I died, would you remarry."
Husband: "No, I love you too much to get married to a different woman."
Wife: "But you love being married, don't you? So honestly. You'd get remarried wouldn't you?"
Husband: *sigh* "Yeah, I guess I would get remarried eventually"
Wife: "Would you and your new wife live in our house?"
Husband: "Yeah, where else would we live"
Wife: "Would you take down all the pictures of me and you together?"
Husband: "Yeah, it would be very discourteous to her not to. I'd still keep the ones of me and you in my private drawer"
Wife: "Would you two sleep in our bedroom?"
Husband: "Yeah, where else would we sleep?"
Wife: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
Husband: "No, she wouldn't be able to. She's left-handed!"
Wife: ...
Husband: "SHIT!"
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explanation
Him saying that she's left-handed implies he already has someone to get remarried with, meaning he's been cheating on his wife.

by Barnakey August 19, 2006

my left hand

Used for masturbatory purposes, and generally anything else that is not considered 'writing', which I am somehow only capable of doing legibly using my right hand.

'Since your handwriting looks like vomit in written form, I shall forge this with my left hand so it appears more accurate.'

by Aiden Mars April 12, 2008

Left Handed Sandbag

Used when your talking to your homies about something sexual with a girl that you can’t specify.

“Yo Hailey gave me a left handed sandbag last night.”

by East bound jit March 20, 2021

The Left Hand of Darkness

A book by Ursula K. Le Guin that details the experiences of an ambassador to the frozen world Gethen in an attempt to persuade the planet into joining a United Nations like organization called "The Ekumen of Known Worlds." The book itself is mostly a hypothetical sociological study of a world without gender (as the humans of this world are genderless until they reach a period each month similar to menstruation, where they enter a state called "kemmer" and their bodies switch to either male or female, allowing them to either impregnate someone or to become pregnant) and how Gethen's societies differentiate from other human societies because of this physiological difference.

Guy 1: "You know Le Guin won the Hugo Award for "The Left Hand of Darkness", didn't you?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, but I thought her short story, 'The Ones Who Walked Away from Omelas' was a better example of her writing style."

by Roger Whitisissle December 25, 2008

Left Handed Daphne

Left Handed Daphne means vagina; whore with a deep vagina.

"All my coworkers are left handed daphnes"

by bigmouthfacts May 19, 2023

the devil's left hand

Another name for gin.

Sam is such an alcoholic that the devil's left hand is pretty much a permanent extension of his left hand.

by Nick D April 3, 2004

left handed hijack

This is a procedure that involves stealing a persons mouse. To accomplish this, a person needs to be distracted, while another person to the right of him/her grabs the mouse with their left hand and closes whatever window was open.

Doug: What the hell joe, where did my web browser go?

Joe: Left handed hijack!

by Cracka McTastic March 1, 2005