The Christmas Rules sound like they would be a seasonal thing, but no, don't be fooled. The Christmas Rules are to be followed throughout the entire year if one would like to reach peak wisdom and enlightenment. Follow the Christmas Rules, and you will live a fulfilling life full of divine knowledge. The rules are as follows (and none can be taken lightly):
1. Celebrate.
2. Don't send soapy tiddy pics.
3. Don't be a simp. (fictional characters and celebrities such as Alex Turner are an exception)
4. FOLLOW THE GAMING FUNGUS. (the most important rule, if you follow the others rules and not this one, it doesn't count)
5. Become sped. (another form of saying speed, basically do everything as speedily as possible)
1. Celebrate.
2. Don't send soapy tiddy pics.
3. Don't be a simp. (fictional characters and celebrities such as Alex Turner are an exception)
4. FOLLOW THE GAMING FUNGUS. (the most important rule, if you follow the others rules and not this one, it doesn't count)
5. Become sped. (another form of saying speed, basically do everything as speedily as possible)
Person 1: "5 is my lucky number, that's why it's in my username."
Person 2: "Why 5?"
Person 1: "Well, I've followed all five of the Christmas rules for five years now and as a reward, and no, this is not a coincidence, I've found five dollars underneath my pillow every single morning. It just goes to show how following the Christmas Rules does nothing but make your life more divine. Join me, my bruddha, in my journey of following the Christmas Rules.
Person 2: "Why 5?"
Person 1: "Well, I've followed all five of the Christmas rules for five years now and as a reward, and no, this is not a coincidence, I've found five dollars underneath my pillow every single morning. It just goes to show how following the Christmas Rules does nothing but make your life more divine. Join me, my bruddha, in my journey of following the Christmas Rules.
by fungusfollower69 June 21, 2021
Get the Christmas Rulesmug. When you receive a lot of great gifts for Christmas, or for any holiday or special occasion, then you open up the last one and it is awful. Its like when you almost finish eating a good chicken sandwich and the last bite is gristle.
Friend 1: My mom got me a PS4, a new car, and a pair of underwear.
Friend 2: Aww man you got some Christmas Gristle...
Friend 2: Aww man you got some Christmas Gristle...
by Tubahokie96 December 16, 2014
Get the Christmas Gristlemug. A christmas cone refers to sprinkling cocaine over a cone (weed bowl) as it looks like snow on a christmas tree.
by PinguThePenguin May 1, 2019
Get the Christmas Conemug. The movement of both the radio and retail industry that will see stores set up for the holiday season and radio stations blare out Christmas music 24/7 usually starting around Halloween.
What's up with all the preemptive Christmas? Walmart's setting up trees, and I haven't gone trick-or-treating yet!
by This Hour Has 42 Minutes November 2, 2009
Get the preemptive Christmasmug. A Christmas Crease is found on summer clothing when you grab them out of the closet/draw in the New Year. This permanent looking crease is embedded in the clothing because they've been stored in the same spot for a period of time.
Bob shows up at work on a spring Monday morning with ruler-straight line across his chest on his shirt:
Co-Worker: "Hey Bob, nice shirt. Were you trying to impale yourself on the end of a table or something?"
Bob: "Thanks, Dick. No, it's just last seasons shirt with a Christmas Crease from the holidays"
Co-Worker: "Hey Bob, nice shirt. Were you trying to impale yourself on the end of a table or something?"
Bob: "Thanks, Dick. No, it's just last seasons shirt with a Christmas Crease from the holidays"
by Mtmtb April 13, 2010
Get the Christmas Creasemug. my version of a popular christmas jingle:
Oh the weather outside is shitty,
and the heat's broke, what a pity,
and I dont see any po po
so smak a Ho smack a Ho smack a Ho!!!
Oh the weather outside is shitty,
and the heat's broke, what a pity,
and I dont see any po po
so smak a Ho smack a Ho smack a Ho!!!
by jacko113 December 16, 2010
Get the christmas jinglemug. When a large number of packages arrive at your door that you don't remember ordering because you were drunk as hell, and your broke ass can't afford any of it.
You, still hung over: Damn, what are all these boxes from Amazon and Alibaba???
P-nut: Must be whiskey christmas!
P-nut: Must be whiskey christmas!
by toadpalmer January 27, 2018
Get the whiskey christmasmug.