I wasn't born yesterday

Something you say in order to tell someone that you are not stupid and are not easily deceived.

Mom: Timmy, what was that sound?
Timmy: Idk mom, it was probably Johnny masturbating again.
Mom: I wasn't born yesterday. Get your damn girlfriend out of your room.

by susanandvictor4eva April 24, 2015

I Wanna Play A Game

The last words you want to hear when you wake up in an abandoned building shackled to something that looks like it could do bodily harm.

Hello Amanda. You don't know me, but I definitely know you. I wanna play a game.

by kornography November 24, 2010

Thats How I Roll

Your style. The way you act. Your actions.

Someone says, "man thanks for letting me hold down some loot" "you say hey thats how I roll."

by Steve Winkler January 26, 2005

I couldn't care less

A phrase that emphasises the lack of care for something or someone. Often mistaken as 'I could care less'.

David: Quick Bert! Muffles the kitten ate some mothballs, and now it's foaming out it's mouth; WE NEED TO GOTO A VET!

Bert: I couldn't care less about your God-Damned Cat right now.

by SeanJohn August 3, 2006

I hit a cat on the way

An excuse given when running late to work, wedding, party, etc. Instead of trying to make up something, you just say you hit a cat, that is why you're late. Hitting a cat wouldn't impact anything, in terms of time, so it's not an excuse, but more or less done to add amusement to the tardiness and delfect any heat you would get otherwise.

Text Message: Can we move our meeting till later in the day, I hit a cat on the way there.

Your boss: Lol, I was about to fire you, but this is clever, I'm going to reuse this.

by unodos November 13, 2013

But daddy I love him

A line on a shirt that Harry Styles wore on New Year’s Eve

Dad: “you can’t date him”
You: “but daddy I love him”

by Finelineoflarry March 1, 2020

I am not a financial advisor

A term used by degenerates who want the credibility and reputation of an actual financial advisor but don't want the accountability and liability that comes along with it. Mainly used by room temperature IQ individuals on TikTok, Youtube, Twitter, etc under the age 21 who probably don't even have a degree, CFA, or any knowledge about basic economics yet feel the need to give financial advice.

You can find them on social media using terms like #ToTheMoon #Stonks #DiamondHands and bandwagoning the latest hype stock or meme crypto and then never to be seen again until another hype stock is talked about by the masses as they don't know anything else about the financial world other than riding the current trend.

They are somewhat related to furus (fake gurus) who want to sell you $1000 courses on stock market education you could probably find on the internet with a few minutes of research. These wannabe financial advisors love to talk about meme stocks and cryptos as well as telling people to #BuyTheDip or #HODL #DoNotSell while still putting in their disclaimer "All posts are opinions and I do not give buy, hold, or sell recommendations."

The problem with these fake advisors is that they think saying they aren't financial advisors creates a loophole where they can't be held liable for their advice. This is literally the same concept as using copyrighted material and saying "No copyright infringement intended" which completely contradicts their statement.

Actual financial advisor: I use highly complex algorithms and statistical modeling to determine accurate probabilities on my investments and can show you that investing in the S&P500 index has proven to give around a 10% return for the past 10 years

Wannabe financial advisor: stonks go brrr, doge to the moon, buy the dip guys, apes strong together *loses life savings after yoloing it on 0 day expiration options*

Actual financial advisor: This person definitely has "I am not a financial advisor" in their bio

by Mediocre Quant June 17, 2021