The act of smoking a cigarette and just before your done you light another cigarette using the cherry from the first cigarette then smoke the second one.
Looks like our smoke break is a extended today. Plenty of time for a double header purple monkey fuck.
by fLeers March 17, 2013
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Assuming you will have something before you actually have it; similar to "counting your chickens before they hatch" (which is commonly attributed to Aesop).
"The Mariners could do better than expected this year."

"Let's not kid ourselves. Check your premises before you make a prediction."

"I'm assuming a number of things go right. Maybe I'm just counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees."
by Rusanova February 03, 2012
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3:45...I think? Who knows what this means really?
What time is it? Half past a monkey's ass, quarter to his balls.
by HK Orlando October 19, 2006
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It's been described as the coolest damn thing ever. It is the CEO of a massive company, a ligit hooker, a genius, and can do tons of magic tricks, as well as tell funny jokes. It is basically the greatest thing ever, right after the invention of tits.
The Panda Monkey Koala CEO genius hooker glanced at me and told a funny joke while jugging chainsaws on a unicle over a pit of sharks.
by FaggotBoyFresh March 08, 2009
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Cum guzzling gutter slut monkey is a phrase that describes women in particular. It means that the woman described loves to give guys head and when they cum she swallows it. The woman is also as disgusting as the gutters ,aka slums, that you may find her in. This woman is also known to go through many men or even get paid to give heead. On the other hand this woman is also as ugly as a monkey.
Guy 1: Hey bro, you see that girl over there?
Guy 2: Yeah man. Why?

Guy 1: I hear she is a cum guzzling gutter slut monkey.

Guy 2: Really, well she must give good head. But why is she here?
Guy 1: She must be lost.
by Blademaster5197 October 15, 2014
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when you wanna say FML
Banker: You owe me 1.000.000.000$

Me: Fuck me sideways running backwards with a monkey wrench
by Strafferen September 16, 2009
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