The Keto Gods

A group of deities aligned to help souls of the mortal plane through first world problems.

I pray to the keto gods the line at chipotle goes smoothly

by cooperhydroblaster November 2, 2023

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Brown Kestrel

Climbing term; simalar to brown eagle. Where a climber on the rock face takes a poo whilst in a harness on belay.

Joel took a huge brown kestrel whilst climbing a 3 star classic face, leaving a brown streak down the wall and hitting his belayer. The stench was unbearable.

by Climbing slang February 28, 2024

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Don’t fuck with my keto!

Once established, that prime condition of fat burning metabolism shall not be disrupted by any outside influence!

Goddam! I’ve been pissing on a keto stick for 3 days and it’s FINALLY positive; and my friggin’ family brings out ‘start yer diet tomorrow’ and ‘there’s chocolate ice cream for dessert’. This isn’t necessarily about losing weight (although regaining a 6 pack is fucking amazing), it’s about CONTROL. I and I alone decide what to fuel my body with and the mindset of ketosis (plus caffeine) is right where I like to be. So, don’t fuck with my keto! And I won’t fuck with yer carbs. Ok?

by YAWA September 7, 2025

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Don’t fuck with my keto!

Once established, that sweet metabolic condition shall not be fucked with by any external force.

Goddam! I’ve been pissing on a keto stick for 3 days and it’s FINALLY positive; and my friggin’ family brings out ‘start yer diet tomorrow’ and ‘there’s chocolate ice cream for dessert’. This isn’t necessarily about losing weight (although regaining a 6 pack is fucking amazing), it’s about CONTROL. I and I alone decide what to fuel my body with and the mindset of ketosis (plus caffeine) is right where I like to be. So, don’t fuck with my keto! And I won’t fuck with yer carbs. Ok?

by YAWA September 7, 2025

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