laundry pants

A pair of pants that are so ugly and/or uncomfortable that the fact that one is wearing them indicates that one hasn't done laundry in a long, long time.

Girl 1: Hey, what's with these ugly pants in the back of your closet?
Girl 2: Oh, those are just laundry pants. I don't actually sear them in public.

by withinsanity April 14, 2013

Pant Cactus

Refers to the condition of a man's testicles 5 days or so after shaving them. Round and prickly, the Pant Cactus is a foe to one's comfort, inner thighs, and the ladies. See: Manscape

"I look like a perv because I have to keep adjusting my balls - this Pant Cactus is so damn prickly! I'm never shaving my balls again!"

by Regay January 9, 2010

Paternity Pants

Apparently normal casual or dress pants for men with a stretch waistband to accommodate large bellies. Suitable for fathers who gain sympathy weight during wives' pregnancies.

Man, that was a massive Thanksgiving dinner. I'm glad I wore my paternity pants.

by digs0 January 15, 2013

furtility pants

Animal print active wear, often with pockets, normally worn by cougars that signify one who is up for it.

Bec wore her furtility pants to yoga on Friday then went straight to the singles bar.

by halfmoonbrighton January 11, 2020

Pinocchio Pants

A random blood rush to one's penis causing a spontaneous erection. Often causes embarrassment and laughter.

"Dude, I'm so hungry"

"Man same here, I can...aw man, I'm getting some Pinocchio Pants..."

"..."

by L0stf0rever June 7, 2011

pants pistol

Slang term for a penis originating in Dundee, MI

"I'm gonna pull out my pants pistol and fire my love bullets on your bitches face."

by Jhendawg January 25, 2018

dick pants

A pair of pants that are so tight one can see the outline of the penis inside the pants.

"Mike, why are you wearing those dick pants? It doesn't look too great with your schmedium shirt".

by Kk2787 September 22, 2019