Jared

A man with a massive horse cock

Did you see Jared I heard he has the biggest dick.

by Your dad's mom November 5, 2020

Jared

a crippled moron

Hey look at that T-Rex, I bet it's name is Jared.

by Chicken50Nuggs October 7, 2017

Jared

Having the name Jared is basically having reached the end you are the best you have achieved everything if your name is Jared by the time you have completed life you will have made boris Johnson shut the fuck up you would have made infinate funny season of modern family you have in vented the infinate money machine you have defeated all these 9 year old internet clown who have supported jake Paul and Bryce hall and most importantly you have taken everyones girl on earth

Oh another Jared just stole my ting well he’s Jared he is a sexy beast it is natural

by Best defffonitions July 31, 2021

Jared

Manipulative, Asshole, probably a dude that would try to finger a bitch on a first date.
Probably someone who would guilt trip you into staying them by forcefully bringing you gifts you never asked for.

“Bro did you hear Jared got cheated on?

Man that sucks, he was pussy whipped anyway.”

by pineappleexpress333 October 8, 2022

send in jared

When you send in the most awesome person to cause a bunch of mayhem and destroy everything

Hey Ryan, SEND IN JARED

by Cool guy 18438 December 31, 2023

Jared

A guy who pees on something to make art.

“Is that Jared? What did he draw this time?”

by Cheeeztordee December 29, 2021

I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024