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Cooperative Baptist Fellowship

Liberal Christian offshoot of the Southern Baptist Convention. CBF's focus is on egalitarian social and political policies along with presenting a hazy view of theology. While most CBF members are not as far to the left as clearly apostate denominational elites such as found in the United Methodist Church, the CBF would be more accurately characterized as part of the mushy middle or moderates.

CBF does not explicitly deny the truth of the Bible, but they emphasize that individual believers can interpret the Bible any way that they choose. This tact on interpreting the Bible can easily provide a liberal Christian with the license to make the Bible into a wax-nose so that one can twist the Bible to justify whatever one wants to read into the text. This loose approach to reading and being instructed in the Bible comes from CBF's so-called "Four Freedoms": (1)Soul Freedom-a direct relationship with God without intermediaries (2)Bible Freedom-each person can interpret the Bible for himself without direction from anyone but God (or who one can easily deceive oneself into believing is God, viz. oneself who wants what he wants and wants it now) (3)Church Freedom-local church autonomy (4)Religious Freedom-as defined by egalitarian leftists at the ACLU. The CBF is affiliated with the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty, which opposes such benign policies as allowing for Ten Commandment displays.
Cooperative Baptist Fellowship member reflecting on Deuteronomy 24 after his wife has burnt the toast: "I see here right in the Bible that I can divorce my wife if she displeases me. So, I shall divorce her and marry my sexier secretary. After she gets some mileage on her, I shall trade her in, too. I am so glad that I read the Bible and follow God's Word."
by Tex in Tex August 23, 2008
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dog in the bathtub

It is what happens when Number Two (or five these days) inserts his enormous steel plated testicles inside an unsuspecting minx's beeeeeeehind and shakes them vigorously. His balls give off such friction that authorities have often feared another Chernobyl type incident.
After waving to the crowd, Number two reveals his massive testicles and pops them fair into the arse of Mimi McPherson. While she smokes crack. And her crack smokes as well.
by Mongobucket May 2, 2005
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bapht Baptists baphomet baTHtub Baptiste Baptism baptized Baptize baht baptised

St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School

1- Concentration camp
2- Home to LARO
3- Where fake people run the school and real people are as rare as finding a unicorn
4- Not following one simple rule will get you a detention

5- Annoying reminders of the rules every single morning
6- Principals with terrible sense of humor
7- Conceited kids with too much money and who's job is to start as much drama as possible
8- Kids hate each other, teachers hate kids, lose- lose situation
9- Fundraisers and sports= extra thousands of dollars
10- Good education, good sports, bad math department, bad decision
1- Hitler once ran St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School
2- Underpaid LARO employees are tortured by St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School
3- Good luck making true friends with all the fake people here at St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School
4- I got detention for my freakin socks. Only at St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School
5- Ms. Walsh yes we know we're St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School students 24/7
6- Mr Laces' jokes= smh everytime

7- Facebook and Tumblr get assaulted by St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School students and their verbal warfare
8- I sit next to my worst enemy and the teacher is insulting me for asking a question. Only at St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School
9- The candy drive, big box raffle and all sports will cost you around $2000 more dollars. Surprised? Well then you obviously don't go to St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School
10- I'm glad i went to St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School even if I never learned anything in math
by cougars10 October 7, 2011
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Baptist John

A religious wiseman/bum who lives in Sunland-Tujunga. John is a fountain of information who is willing to share his knowledge and give advice to open minds all over the world. John can be found in or around Sunland Park enjoying the atmosphere, or even sneaking in a little snooze. Not only wise about religion, John is a great advisor in all aspects of life. Baptist John will be remembered as one of the most influential, and at times eccentric, thinkers of the 21st century.
"Let the clouds break! And the wrath of GOD rain down on the unfaithful!" Baptist John
by Mr. Nolley Johnson June 13, 2008
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Baptist

"Are you out of the closet?"
"No, my family is Baptist and drag me to church 2 times a week."
"Oof."
by PleaseHelpWhyMe May 21, 2018
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landover baptist

A derogotory term for anyone, normally 50yr old virgins, who love the cock so hard it hurts them to see.
ME:Your dad is a landover baptist
EVERYONE ELSE:shut up you poon
by Jimmy April 22, 2005
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Dirty baptism

Where a man deficates in the toilet, then dunks bitches head in toilet while simultaniously smacking her ass with a bible or similar device.
AHHY TRICK GET THE FUCK BACK HERE BEFORE I GIVE YOU A DIRTY BAPTISM
by yahh trick yahh.123. August 20, 2008
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