Dick Blanchard

The little old man whose from the empire carpet commercials, just had a stroke, and is wearing 9 day old piss stained pants.(Often confused as Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets world)

Dick Blanchard sells carpets at low prices.

by JJ May 13, 2003

Bruce's Dick

THE SMALLEST, TEENIEST, SHORTEST MICROSCOPIC THING THE HUMAN EYE WILL EVER FUCKING SEE IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE. HELL, THIS DICK IS SO FUCKING SMALL, MICROSCOPES CAN'T EVEN DETERMINE THAT THIS THING EVEN EXISTS. (How do we know?) WELL, IT SPREADS FUCKING HERPES, AIDS, CANCER, AND HEPATITIS C TO EVERY LIVING CREATURE IT TOUCHES. THAT'S HOW WE KNOW THIS FUCKING CANCER CELL DISEASE EXISTS. FURTHERMORE, YOU MIGHT BE ASKING WHAT WE SHOULD DO TO RID EARTH OF THIS HORRID MONSTER. HERE'S THE FUCKING SOLUTION: CHOP OFF ITS HEAD AND FEED IT TO A BUNCH OF PIGS DURING A SATANIC RITUAL. THEN BURN THEM ALL TO PREVENT THE SPREAD. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET RID OF BRUCE'S DICK. IT IS THE SMALLEST AND MOST DEADLIEST ANIMAL OUT THERE.

- With lots of love, Hailey

Guy 1: Whoa dude, what's that horrible disease you have?

Guy 2: Turns out I got a case of "Bruce's Dick." It's fucking horrible, man.

by Lil Oof Dick July 30, 2018

Peach Dick

A semi-freshly shaven pubic area of a males genitals that is slightly growing back in with soft peach-like regrowth..
usually used as a derogatory term

"STOP BEING SUCH A PEACH DICK"

"That guy last night tried to fuck me with his limp peach dick"

by hunijkah September 11, 2009

dick and duck

To sleep with someone and then leave quickly that night/the next morning and/or avoid them at all costs afterward. Primarily a male action.

Guy 1: Did you know that girl we just passed?
Guy 2: Uh yeah but I sort of had to dick and duck her, so I didn't want to say hello.

by wjcynx1 March 2, 2010

dick jumper

A girl who dates alot of guys, and when they break up she finds another boy to talk to the next day.

Damnn...she just broke up with her boyfriend and now shes talking to another guy already?!?!?! What a dick jumper!!

by ilovedickjumpers June 4, 2009

Hood dick

The dick of someone who either has felonies, no credit, a criminal history, baby mamas galore, or a criminal past as long as my bar tab

Do any of your friends like penis? I am looking for some hood dick.

by Hood Jared December 12, 2017

What The Dick

What the dick is a phrase that is typically used to express frustration, disbelief, dissatisfaction, irritation, and many other emotions.

What the dick should be used only in the most serious of situations.

If you're looking for an alternative phrase that may be used in less serious situations, we recommend using the phrase "What the dicky".

What the dick Blaine; why did you just hit me the face?

by WTDI August 26, 2012