Schrödinger's handjob

When you are asleep and having a wet dream, and you're not sure where it is a dream or whether it's your best mate wanking you off when you're sharing a bed

Ben woke up in pure euphoria and a wet patch, he rolled over to his best friend blake sleeping next to him. His euphoria swiftly turned to shock and exclaimed "oh fuck, I've had a Schrödinger's handjob"

by Hayden Schrödinger June 24, 2023

double-stacked handjob

To use both hands to stroke when giving a handjob.

Last night was crazy, my girlfriend gave me a double-stacked handjob!

by SneakierGoat November 2, 2023

gloved-up goo-gone handjob

When the gloves need to come _on_, and things get dirty, it's no time for half measures. Best to bring out the big guns right off, get them thick 7mil gloves on, an anointal squirt of goo-gone in nitrile-gloved hand, we then begin the "cleaning" process, vigorously stroking back and forth over the length, agitating with pumice grit for added friction, a passionate fervor, and potent concoction of solvents, we grip firmly and to ensure the _entire_ length is coated, covered, and cared for properly. ;)

Always best to go full-bore, no half-assin! Now get them gloves on...

God, look at the gunk on that motherfucker, that poor thing needs some TLC and a good gloved-up goo-gone handjob, and maybe a miracle...

by Viriledande March 9, 2026

gloved-up goo-gone handjob

When the gloves need to come _on_, and things get dirty, it's no time for half measures. Best to bring out the big guns right off, get them thick 7mil gloves on, an anointal squirt of goo-gone in nitrile-gloved hand, we then begin the "cleaning" process, vigorously stroking back and forth over the length, agitating with pumice grit for added friction, a passionate fervor, and potent concoction of solvents, we grip firmly and to ensure the _entire_ length is coated, covered, and cared for properly. ;)

Always best to go full-bore, no half-assin! Now get them gloves on...

God, look at the gunk on that motherfucker, that poor thing needs some TLC and a good gloved-up goo-gone handjob, and maybe a miracle...

by Viriledande March 9, 2026

Battle Creek handjob

A Battle Creek handjob is when your getting a handjob while simultaneously fingering your own ass hole

yeah I got me a Battle Creek handjob behind the bowling alley

by ilovejay222 March 9, 2025

Madam's handjob

When a woman removes her underwear and uses it to give a guy a hand job so that the panties soak up the cum, similar to a posh wank.

She took her pants off in the car and gave me a madam's handjob

by Space_Ashe March 24, 2025

Reach Around Handjob

A reach around handjob is a wonderful and very skillful art only used by the best mommies and parentless women (or the pretty hot nerd girls too) and how it works is, your sitting on your hot ass mommy’s lap and she is reaching from behind you and professionally edging, stroking or milking your meat rod and if she’s a real mommy then she will whisper sweet nothings in your war while your shooting ropes or while pumping your beef jerky (and dirty sweet nothings work as well and much better) and the goal is for you to cum EVERYWHERE while feeling some motherly love and warmth and usually the mommy has the choice to continue for hours even if your pleading or whimpering for mercy (not like you will have the strength to resist or anything)

Max: Dude, you look like you have been drained or something
Terry: Y-Yea man, my momm- I mean gf gave me a reach around handjob and I thought she was gonna kill me!
Max: Damn dude that sounds fucking crazy…. Should I ask my gf for that too?
Terry: Yes, absolutely and make sure she edges you first

by H0110WK1NG December 29, 2025