Two A Day

Norman "Nick"'s belief that every man jacks off twice a day and if he claims he doesn't then he's a fucking liar. After being called out for his excessive jack off schedule, Norman "Nick" clapped back with this idea and while nobody else has admitted to jacking off twice on a daily basis, Norman "Nick" still deeply believes this idea. In fact, Norman "Nick" feels the need to make up for others who aren't jacking off twice a day so sometimes he'll go three or four times a day just by himself. You may have heard of the multivitamin, "One A Day," think of this jacking off idea as a "Two A Day" in order to ensure the best health for yourself.

Henry: Yo Norman "Nick", you get your two in today?
Norman "Nick": No
Henry: Oh shit, have you gotten any in at all?
Norman "Nick": Dude when I first wake up, I sit in bed for 30 minutes before I get up so that's when I get my first one in
Henry: Oh damnnn, then you get the other in at night so you get your Two A Day in, huh?
Norman "Nick": Yeah

by TurnM3Up December 27, 2021

two-total

Describes someone who drinks a maximum of two alcoholic beverages in any one night.

This may be for religious, health or financial reasons but is often due to the fact they are a massive self-confessed lightweight and the first sip of a third beverage would see them swinging naked from a chandelier or similar light fitting and nursing a horrendous hangover in the morning.

'Fancy another bro?'
'No wayyy man, don't you remember what happened last time?!'
'Oooo yeh that was nasty.'
'Def gonna roll two-total this weekend.'

by Clapo86 February 25, 2012

two-adjectives

A way to label individuals to tell others one's evaluation or opinion of who they are.

Strong and fast, are an example of two-adjectives. Smart but smelly, ugly but funny, fat and ugly, fat and friendly, short but cute, tall and arrogant, intelligent but snotty, snobbish but elegant. The other similar method is two-nouns, as in skinny and tall. These two-adjectives or two-nouns help describe characters in plays, for example.

by but for May 15, 2018

Two spacer

Someone who inserts two spaces after a full stop when typing meaning someone then has to delete all the extra spaces after. Also known as a double spacer or scum of the earth.

Oh no, we just gave her the job and then realised she's a two spacer

by Angrytypist May 20, 2017

Two Chair

Def 1. A person who is so large that they could easily occupy two chairs due to the size of their butt.

Def 2. One who cannot comfortably (or struggles to) sit on a chair because of their size.

Note: Depending on the fatness of the person, this term can be adapted to 3 chair, 4 chair, or 5 chair. Anything after 5 chair the joke becomes stupid.

"Hey man, check out that Two Chair on your right."

"Wow, that's more like a 2.5 Chair."

"Yea, definitely your team."

by Unparallel April 25, 2012

Two Baillys

When you try to game a broken system, but the broken system screws you over. Because it's broken.

Fuck FPL man, I was trying to get two Baillys and all it did was give me one injured Ben Davies.

by secretboy78 August 18, 2018

two trays

An old white dudes old (and most likely fake) gangster name, he is most likely a dad of to kids and looks like he could hurt a fly but not an actual human.

The dad: Did you know I was in a gang when I was your age, they all called me two trays.

His kid: Dad you grew up in the Mormon Utah stfu.

by Definitely not two trays kid December 2, 2021