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Captain Crunch

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The worst head a man could possibly get. The name explains itself.
Bruh i asked her for some schlop but she gave me some Captain Crunch instead
by Garfibromyalgia November 21, 2021
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front crunch

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when u get ur wisdom teeth out and can’t chew in the back
Sorry excuse my front crunch i just got my wisdom teeth out and can’t get it stuck.
by rr525 June 24, 2022
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Star Crunch

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Bottom tier snack cake. Most commonly consumed by roller operators and other homosexuals. In all areas of the world known as inferior in comparison to Zebra Cakes.
“Hey, did you see that fag eating a Star Crunch?”
“Well not everyone is bad ass enough to eat Zebra Cakes, and besides he clearly runs a roller”
by JusMe12345 September 10, 2022
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Nut crunch

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A hit to the groin that produces sound.
Nut- Testicle
Crunch- The sound of something getting crushed.
Guy 1: Oh man! Everyone heard that! She gave you a nut crunch! Guys help me carrying this mofo to the bathroom!
Guy 2: Oh my balls! My fucking balls!
Guy 1: Dude, give me one hand, we take you to the bathroom.
by DaveDH March 10, 2023
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Mintberry Crunch

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A superhero from the South Park series, who actually has superpowers. I don't like him though because he's super annoying and owns slaves in space. His sister is Henrietta Biggle, although they are non-biological, because Bradley (Mintberry Crunch) is adopted. Also, his sister is totally fucking awesome.
Mintberry Crunch: Well, hello there, citizen!
Me: I'm gonna cut your dick off.
by Raven Ocean March 25, 2023
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Maltene crunch

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Derived from Maltene, an enzyme found in cured asphalt, Maltene crunch is the crunchy snack version of crumbled asphalt.
Man, I'm starving. I could really use a handful of Maltene crunch to hold me over until dinner.
by SpiritOfTrish May 16, 2023
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