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Man says him a ting, then him a ting

"You are what you say you are"

Originally from channel 4 comedy Phoneshop, it was originally used as confidence boosting advice.
1. Dr Dre isnt a real doctor
Man says him a ting, then him a ting

2. Im not sure if Im ready to take the step up to being a manager.
Man says him a ting, then him a ting

R.A. the Rugged Man 

He's just as broke as when he had no deal,
he's stupid his brain's like oatmeal,
he used to be labelmates with Shaquille O'Neal,
now he gets his dick sucked in the batmobile.
Call me Thorburn, John H. Staff Sergeant, Marksman
Skilling, killing, illing
I'm able and willing
Kill a village elephant, rapin' and pillage your village
Illegitimate killers, US Military guerillas
-R.A. the Rugged Man "Uncommon Valour"

I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator 

Translates to I'm Josie, and 100 dollars is an understatement.
I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator is something you wouldn't say on a first date.

Rocket Man Is On A Suicide Mission 

A controversial statement made by President Donald Trump in response to North Korea's recent nuclear missile launches which may be a potential threat towards the United States...
Trump: The Rocket Man is on a suicide mission.
Me: Hmm...catchy but debatable statement...

man writen by a woman 

This is a good compliment meaning he understands women in a way that some incompetent (and sadly common) men have made to seem hard to find.
He understands me so well he is a "man writen by a woman"

giving the little man in the boat a nuggie 

to perform cunnalingis on the clitoris hard and rapidly.
when i get home i,m gonna giving the little man in the boat a nuggie.