Tortoise Kisses

When two guys really love and respect each other, they might show it by lightly touching the tips of their penises together in a display of trust, friendship and understanding.

Bill and Jeff are in the back giving each other tortoise kisses. They're really good friends.

by TortoiseKisses January 20, 2011

Ford Tortoise

Slang for FORD TAURUS.

When my stupid ex-wife divorced me, I was sable to trade up from our old Ford Tortoise station wagon to a brand new Ford Rustang GT!

by Car-roll Shelby July 23, 2006

Hermanns tortoise

A tortoise found in europe.

A hermanns tortoise lives in europe

by Hasta le vista November 25, 2017

Steel Tortoise

Hes a man from Maynmar (Burma). Hes fucking awesome.

"Steel Tortoise is so fucking awesome"

by Terixy August 19, 2022

Tortoise Diet

One of the best reptilian animals. Foods include:

Mulberry leaves
Grape vine leaves
Hibiscus leaves
African hibiscus leaves
Blue hibiscus leaves
Rose of Sharon leaves
Rose leaves
Geraniums
Azania
Lavatera
Pansies
Petunias
Hostas
Honeysuckle
Cape honeysuckle
Leaves and blooms from any squash plant, like pumpkin, cucumber, summer squash, etc...
Young spineless opuntia cactus pads

Weeds:

There are so many!!!
Dandelion
Mallow
Filaree
Smooth Sow thistle
Prickly Sow thistle
Milk thistle
Goat head weed
Cats ear
Nettles
Trefoil
Wild onion
Wild mustard
Wild Garlic
Clovers
Broadleaf plantain
Narrow leaf plantain
Chick weed
Hawksbit
Hensbit
Hawksbeard
This is mostly for leopard tortoises and sulcata tortoises but for leopards less grass.

Tortoises need a big variety in their diet. Tortoise Diet

by #Animals4life January 22, 2018

Peking Tortoise

When you try to have a poop and it only pops its nose out before retreating back inside.

Dude, you were in the bathroom for ages!

Yeah, I was struggling with a Peking Tortoise.

by shane_r April 10, 2009

tortoise nervosa

The decline of motor skills and brain function the morning after the over consumption of alcoholic beverages the night before.

You: Did you see Sally today? She can barely hold her pen and is staring at a blank computer screen.

Me: Looks like a case of tortoise nervosa. Sally had one to many martinis at happy hour last night.

by Gucci13 August 13, 2009