proximity error

When in close proximity to one you care deeply about, or just purely have the raging hots for, you make insanely stupid and inexplicable mistakes.

Lori, I know I really eff'd up our dinner order...but every time I'm near you I suffer major proximity errors! I can't help it...it's what you do to me!

by jfwordsmythe December 12, 2016

Proximity alarm

A girl who has been tortured for 2+ years blindfolded who screams whenever she hears the door open.

Watch out dale my proximity alarm might go off if you open my basement door!

by Yæt January 1, 2021

irate primate

when a woman is being tag-teamed by two guys, one doggy-style and one in her mouth, the man from behind pulls out to spuge on her back. as this happens with a cock-filled mouth, the woman moans and groans (sounding like a monkey) as she has her arms in the air, trying to slap the goo off of her back. hence, sounding and looking like a monkey.

man, we gave this chick such an irate primate the other night, king kong could smell it.

by gizelly May 29, 2011

Bacon Proximity Index (BPI)

How far a given human being is from fresh hot bacon. This index value is an indicator of quality of life in both first and third world countries.

the BPI is the product of a number of variables
1. distance travel needed
2. modes of travel needed
3. local, relative cost of bacon
4. time required for bacon preparation
5. quality of bacon available
6. risks to be undertaken to achieve the bacon

I'm in Denny's right now bro, my Bacon Proximity Index (BPI) is at the absolute maximum value known in the universe.

triple the bacon on my bacon sundae.

by aaron_ros April 25, 2013

The Law of Inverse Proximity

Someone living close to school/uni/work will always be later than someone living far away. The closer they live, the later they will arrive.

Lecturer: "John, how can you be late everyday? You live on campus!"
John: "It's the Law of Inverse Proximity, sir - I live so close it's physically impossible for me to get here on time!"

by tcadu vlacku June 3, 2011

proginate

fingering yourself on the toilet

I'm going to proginate tonight

by gashney boog May 12, 2015

proximity

The immediate area surrounding an object.

The notepad has even proximity between each horizontal line.

by scruph May 12, 2008