copportunist 

An insanely-bored/touchy paranoid with a "trigger-happy" finger that's always poised over the "E-1" ("E-2" is for fire, "E-3" is for ambulance; enough said) auto-dial button on their telephone, just waiting for the flimsiest excuse to dial 9-1-1.

I avoid leaving bags of returnables along the road anywhere near that family's house, nor do I even stop to ask for a drink of water on a hot day --- they are such awful copportunists!

copportunist by QuacksO June 29, 2018

Topportunist 

A male in the gay community who will, under any circumstance, make attempts to attain a top and ruthlessly win over his affection.

male 1:"oooh, gurl, Ms Maddy must be in the market for a brand new beaux, she's been looking hella meloncollie lately..."
fag hag 4:"oh, honey, once a "topportunist" has used available resources it must seek out new prey.the "topportunist" is always at work.

Topportunist by sonofavgvst February 26, 2019

Topportunist 

A male in the gay community who will, under any circumstance, make attempts to attain a top and ruthlessly win over his affection.

male 1:"oooh, gurl, Ms Maddy must be in the market for a brand new beaux, she's been looking hella meloncollie lately..."
fag hag 4:"oh, honey, once a "topportunist" has used available resources it must seek out new prey.the "topportunist" is always at work.

Topportunist by sonofavgvst February 26, 2019

opportunistic asshole 

People who always pick the asshole choice whenever they can do something good/not do something bad.

Dave: Dude did you seriously eat half the brownies I made before anyone else even woke up?
Warbel: You snooze you lose lol
Dave: Fucking opportunistic asshole

opportunistic asshole by gingerlover123wastaken April 22, 2023

Opportunistic Racist 

The Opportunistic Racist follows the same mantra as the Preferential Racist, but is completely self aware of the hypocrisy and doesn't care since their goals are to weaponize grievances in a "rules for thee, but not for me" fashion. The Opportunistic Racist will use tactics such as cry bullying, tu quoque, misdirection, gaslighting, etc to paint their opposition in a bad light. However, they would do any of those same exact same things themselves and not see it as a problem. It's a form of projection, and a weaponization against their opponents of their preferential racism and hatred. They are essentially a more directly malicious version of the Preferential Racist. It is not uncommon to see these people as full time Grievance Grifters / Race Hustlers.

See Preferential Racist
See Crybully / Cry Bully

Opportunistic Racist: You need to pronounce Serra Heideonslanik's name properly! You don't care enough to pronounce it correctly, because you're racist!
Opportunistic Racist a week earlier: Steve Willawollabingbang is an idiot and I hope he get's hit by a car! How could anyone have given him that position?! (Actual name: Steve Williams)

Opportunistic Racist by ApplesPotatoGardner November 21, 2023

crisis opportunist 

A person or business-establishment that "moves in for the kill" whenever others are in a tight spot, hoping to "score big" due to the victims-of-circumstance's feelings of helplessness and desperation.

Some high-school guys with raging hormones purposely cram and toil to "exceptionally learn" math, English, history, science, etc, so that they can then extract sexual favors from less-competent girls who need help with their homework --- what shameless crisis opportunists!

crisis opportunist by QuacksO August 12, 2018

Murphy's Law opportunist 

Someone who utilizes the "reliable" bad-luck-causing syndrome of Murphy's Law by actually turning it his own benefit or that of his friends. Extra points if these other folks actually hire him for pay to "suffer on their behalf".

One excellent example of a Murphy's Law opportunist would be someone who hangs out his laundry to dry on an occasion when rain is desired.

Murphy's Law opportunist by QuacksO August 11, 2019