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routermonkey

Routermonkey (noun)

A person who’s vocation centers on design and/or maintenance of internetworking infrastructure which generally consists of; data routers, switches and firewalls.

The routermonkey is typically very curious regarding “cause and affect relationships” (example – If I remove this route… what will break) they tend to be very clandestine by nature, usually only associating with the IT uber class. A routermonkey very rarely will speak to an actual “end user” as their social skills are poor. A routermonkey’s vocabulary consists of mostly acronyms and routinely attempt to explain binary to decimal conversion and the like, generally placing their audience into a hypnotic like state. If forced to explain details of network related tasks to a outsider – most routermonkey’s resort to drawing pictures using a program called “Visio”.

Routermonkey’s covet internetworking industry certifications such as:
CCNA (Cisco Certified Network Associate)
CCNP (Cisco Certified Network Professional)
And the routermonkey holly grail being CCIE (Cisco Certified Internetwork Expert)
IT Manager, Q: "why is the network so slow? Did you make any changes today"

Routermonkey, A: "It depends on what you mean by chages??"
by Barney Gaumer August 24, 2007
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New Jersey Paper Route

A New Jersey Paper Route occurs when an intoxicated person proceeds to vomit and/or defecate on his neighbors' front porches and/or driveways while attempting to walk back to his/her house.
After a night of heavy drinking and pounding techno music, Salvatore made the mistake of stopping by Tony's Diner for a meatball sub. The greasy meal combined with his already drunken state caused him to vomit on one neighbor's driveway, and have a violent bowel movement on another neighbor's front porch. When he finally made it to his front door, Salvatore could only grimace at the repurcussions his New Jersey Paper Route would usher in the following day.
by Poor Woobie March 11, 2008
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Related Words
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the tomato route

When confronted with many options, the decision maker takes the path that is the most morally dubious.
Mike had to choose between his conscience and satisfying the most immediate of his desires. Should he have slept with Brenda Doherty or saved his son Tommy who was in the middle of an allergic reaction from eating peanuts. Through deep soul searching Mike ended up taking The Tomato Route. He'll be giving a heartfelt eulogy for Tommy this Saturday at Our Lady of the Holy Rosary under the auspices of father Frank Doherty.
by Vik Singh September 23, 2019
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Paper Route

Place where a dealer sells drugs from
I'm movin rocks on the paper route
by Poofer May 11, 2004
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routition

Taco Tuesday is a family routition.
by Pretty poo poo May 7, 2018
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Route 24

A route 24 is when you gotta shit real bad so you pull over on the side of the highway, and drop a deuce in the woods.
Tommy: "Aw dude I was on my way to Steph's and I took a route 24."
Robbie: "What'd you use?"
Tommy: "Hand sanitizer, dunkin donuts napkins, and moist wipes from Outback."
by WolfInADen November 24, 2018
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Wifi router

I can't wait to play GTA 5 on my $500 wifi router
by Cartoonlover69 July 21, 2020
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