The Joys of Midwife Beating

Before you join our little club, you cannot beat midwives with impunity.

If we allow you to join and induct you, you will be granted your Totin Chip, whereby you may beat midwives with impunity. Reducing their faces to rubble and hamburger.

It's a guy thing.

The Joys of Midwife Beating make the world a sunny place!

by Jacques Asse December 28, 2009

Facebook mid-life crisis

Tendency for users new to Facebook (generally age 30-50) to completely reassess their lives after comparing themselves to the Facebook profiles of people known to them only in high school and college. May trigger some individuals to believe that the newly discovered and superficial Facebook interactions with former friends means that they are now friends again in real life - despite the fact that there has been no desire for contact for the past 20+ years. In severe cases, those afflicted with a Facebook mid-life crisis may attempt to recapture their perceived glory days of high school and/or college by trying to get back to their prom weight, attempting to date a past high school crush, or setting up a drumset in the basement.

Woman: "After joining Facebook, my husband said he 'had a lot to think about.' Then, he joined the gym, got his saxophone out of the attic, and said he is meeting a female 'friend' from high school for dinner on Friday."

Friend: "Sounds to me like he is having a Facebook mid-life crisis."

by Octoberstar May 8, 2009

milife

A pet name for a loved one of the same sex that is not related to you. This has no homosexual implication whatsoever, it is simply an innocent Anne of Green Gables - type thing.

Gertrude: Ok, I gotta get home now or the dog will pee all over the house. I love you, milife!
Beatrice: I love you more! See you tomorrow, milife!

by Tiggeety January 11, 2013

mid life musings

A less dramatic version of a mid life crisis. You start to reflect on the good ol' days and wish you were back there.

I can't stop thinking about shit from back in the day. Think I'm having a mid life crisis.

Nah man, sounds like mid life musings to me you're all good.

by ald81 June 19, 2018

Midwife Crisis

The act of dropping a newborn on its head shortly after birth.

Please direct your thoughts and prayers to little Jimmy, Nurse Butterfingers had a midwife crisis.

by Aaron Gibbs September 11, 2007

mid-life crisis

Mid-life crisis (MLC, not to be confused with TLC) is a very common among people ranging from 30-50 years of age. In every aspects of our lives, mid-life crisis finds its voice through every passage of our lives. People with mid-life crisis falsely believed that they are young (from ages 15-25). They drive a Corvette, Mustang, and other sports vehicles. On a daily basis, people with mid-life crisis can be discovered/hunt down on regular college campuses. People with mid-life crisis can be best described by using the term-"middy-life." Middy-lifes have an untrammeled desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness and horniness. The effects of mid-life crisis can lead an individual to evolve into a pedo bear.

If you are 30 years old or older, then you are a mid-life crisis.

by benchmax345 May 10, 2008

Mexican Midwife

When taking a dump with a turd half-way in and half-way out, flush the toilet and have the suction pull the rest of the turd out of you like a midwife delivering a baby.

It was a hard shit until I used the Mexican Midwife.

by The Gooch2 January 28, 2009