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Melted Candle

A “melted candle”

A woman in her mid 30’s, normally married with a couple of kids and an un-familiar husband (probably shagging the secretary, and she probably knows about it). Very dangerous cougar who is likely to go wild when out on the town for a rare night of freedom. The melted candle refers to her lack of fitness and an amount of weight gain from age/ child birth/ giving up on life. Can be referred to as an iceberg – Tinder/Facebook/ Instagram profile pictures only take in to account the top 12% of her mass – face and boobs - the greater mass is below the waterline/ waist and is hidden from general view.

A melted candle could be the same as above who has reverted to minor plastic surgery in order to fight the aging process. These procedures – Botox, Lip Fillers, tattoo eyebrows - often achieve the opposite effect and make her look older.

In conclusion, not a first choice but would be an exemplary one night stand, as long as you can escape the Travelodge before she wakes up and cries uncontrollably about her kids/husband/ fat arse/ pet cats. 7 Pint minimum.

Can be found on Hen Parties and in your local Cougar Pub
Went on a Tinder with a Melted Candle last night - smash and dashed - she was on a Hen Party
by PhilipHoldenez September 3, 2018
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melted cupcake

When someone shits on your driveway on a hot summer day and leaves it there
Not only did that kid piss on my lawn but he left a melted cupcake
by qfx8001 June 3, 2005
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Melted cheese dick

the situation where a man suffers from a male yeast infection and proceeds to melt his dick in a waffle iron
by duncan mcleod February 22, 2009
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Melted Sand

Hey did you know glass is made of Melted Sand?
by Shawn Underwood January 8, 2007
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Melted Plastic

A term used when one has maxed out his or her credit card.
Joan: "I swear to God this card works!!"

Kate: "Ha Bitch! You got Melted Plastic!"
by c_mann February 12, 2009
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Melted Welly

Taken from 'Rogers Profanisaurus'

A poetic term describing a lady's bodily treasure.
'Spatula was powerless to resist. His eyes burnt into hers like mamellated chalcedony. His muscular arms enfolded her body as she felt herself being swept away on a noctilucent cloud of passion. "Am I the first?" whispered Dartanyan. "Sort of," she vouchsafed in return, her voice quivering with unrequited passion. "I've not let the other two have a shot on me melted welly yet."'
by sid Bollock November 13, 2004
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Melted sugar

A- Yo bro have you seen Kay's new girlfriend?
B- Yeah she used to swallow my melted sugar

A- Oh wow you're a menace
by SlowKiller April 5, 2022
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