Investing Aggressively

1. Committing as little as possible to a situation
2. Making a covert exit from a place or situation

Originated in the Silicon Valley tech scene when companies are bluffing prior to a market exit in order to increase asset value or simply to stop staff brain drain prior to an asset sale. It is an ironic phrase, intended to mean the exact opposite.

See also Doublespeak, sarcasm, cynicism. Not to be confused with the common misuse of irony

1. “We expect to lose money in Southeast Asia and expect to invest aggressively in terms of marketing, subsidies etc,”

D. Khosrowshahi - Feb 2018. Uber sells March 2018

2. "You turning up to the boss' party on Saturday?"
"I plan on 'investing aggressively' in the optional company social this weekend..."

by IronicIsntIronyAlanis May 16, 2018

investment broker

A businessman whose purpose is to make you go broke with his investments.

I could go broke just by practicing unwise spending; why should I pay an investment broker to accomplish this for me???

by QuacksO October 12, 2018

Investment fatty

The idea of dating a fat chick with the goal of making her thin and therefore more attractive.

I'm dating an investment fatty, if I'm successful the dividends will be a hot girlfriend.

by J-Jim April 20, 2021

investment bank

Greed, the downfall of American Productivity.
If your factory or enterprise is no longer privately held, and margins are less than 25%, prepare for your job to move offshore.

Fred: "Hey Greg, where's your car?"

Greg: "Couldn't afford the payment. An investment bank took over our factory, sold off the machinery and building, and now 14 year old Chinese girls make Oster blenders."

Fred: "It's economics. 1/8th the quality at 1/10th the wage."

by ebbing July 22, 2008

social investment

Doing certain activities that places you in better social standing among your peers

He made some social investment today; he bought tacos for all of us

by Hosang Lee September 07, 2007

Investment Banker

Rhyming slang for wanker.

Hey, how come bob didn't show up at the party Saturday?

I don't know, I heard he got a job as an investment banker.

by Mpc1209 September 17, 2013

Good Investment

Something that is highly invested in. saying or doing something very well or smart.

Uriah: Hey, where is my coat babe?"
Savanna: " oh don't you remember its by the door."
Uriah: "oooohhhh yeeeaahhhh.. babe, good investment!"

by eMCee Uriahhh February 19, 2010