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pumpty dumpty

Man I had a pumpty dumpty last night and now it burns when I piss.
by gohobt December 4, 2021
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Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.
Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!
by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012
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Blumpty Dumpty

A guy is doing and upper decker while a woman is shitting and blowing him.
The couple were so upset at the party, so they did a blumpty dumpty to show their appreciation.
by TexMexMariner November 28, 2014
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Humpty Dumpty

A fat round and smooth male who has no signs of hair on his body whatsoever. He only eats free ranged eggs because he’s a free egg, and has sex with starving women on a regular basis that weigh between 75-100 pounds, and when he cums he suddenly puts all of his weight on top of the woman and spatters cum and blood everywhere.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
by Blackflys October 15, 2017
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Humpty Dumpty

A fat round and smooth male who has no signs of hair on his body whatsoever. He only eats free ranged eggs because he’s a free egg, and has sex with starving women on a regular basis that weigh between 75-100 pounds, and when he cums he suddenly puts all of his weight on top of the woman and splatters cum and blood everywhere.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
by Blackflys October 14, 2017
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Humpty Dumpty

Name given to someone who does a bad job of offers poor quality of goods or services and is generally incompetent at what they claim to be good at and often make simple or stupid or way below novice level mistakes and usually does not care about it either. (N.B. this is the British meaning as opposed to the American one of Humping a girl then Dumping her)
That 'plasterer' who plastered my wall was a right Humpty Dumpty he plastered over all the electrical outlets!!!
by creality March 5, 2020
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Humpty Dumpty

"Hi I'm Big Ed and we did the Humpty Dumpty sex move, basically what I do is hump and then dump." - sixteenleo
by sheeeeeeesh_ May 3, 2021
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