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poo contractions

An overwhelming sense of pain, panic, cramping, and cold sweats that sweeps over someone when they are about to have diarrhea...especially if they are forced to hold it longer than they need to.

The feeling comes and goes, but gradually increases in frequency...like when women give birth...but this time you are giving birth to a giant wet shit.
Jeff's poo contractions became stronger and more intense as he searched for a clean public bathroom. Thankfully, his sphincter was strong and held back the flow.
by Dooodooo Man March 11, 2008
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contract lesbian

A contract lesbian is a celebrity, such as a musician or actress, who must act and date as if she is a lesbian for publicity. They are also usually not allowed to date men until their contract is up, to keep it from being found out that they're not really lesbian.
Lydia: Each girl in T.A.T.U. is a contract lesbian.
Brandon: What the hell is a contract lesbian?
Lydia: You know, they acted like lesbians 'cause it said they had to in their contract, just so "All The Things She Said" would get airplay.
Tony: So they're not really lesbians, but rather they just get paid to act like they are in public?
Lydia: Exactly.
Daniel: Damn.
by Quack Quack January 30, 2006
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General Contractor

General Contractors or GC hire professionals to complete work on home projects. They charge a huge mark up on the labor cost of unlicensed tradesman such as Plumbing, Electrical and Havc. Along with other members of the construction community such as Masons and Carpenters. Their job is to insure that the work is completed not to code and by people who can’t speak English when the home owners try to speak to them.
Jerry the GC: I want to be the best General Contractor in the world.

Larry: How are you going to do that?

Jerry the GC: I will hire as many unskilled illegal Mexicans as I can and pay them nothing to produce crappy work.

Larry: Sounds like you’re the BEST for sure. Will you put crooked tile in my home now?

Jerry the GC: Sure will and plumbing that will only work for a few years!
by Killer Beess February 10, 2012
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Contract

If you are on Urbandictionary.com or the Urban Dictionary app and are reading this text, you hereby agree to pay the person holding this device and letting you read this text any disclosed amount of cash. Personal deeds (including sexual) are also tolerable.
Failure to comply will result in a swift kick in the Gooty Hole by the person holding this device.

Other notes:
See: Gooty Hole
Friend: I broke my contract.
You: Prepare your Gooty Hole.
by dhughes June 14, 2016
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Dirty Contractor

Wild sex that occurs when two men Tag-team a woman after a long day of contracting work . Both men do so without showering, washing their hands, or taking off their boots .
Mike and Dave got done working on the barn and really gave that cashier from the hardware store the dirty contractor !
by AZMPF July 12, 2017
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Colon Contraction

When you have a large dump coming on, and the stomach pains come in and out. The intervals in time get closer and closer until you can't stand it anymore and you must drop a load.
I thought I was going to shit my pants, but it must have just been a colon contraction. Regardless, I should probably find a bathroom soon, before another one comes on.
by BT 2 September 1, 2009
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Eye contract

Promises of emotional or sexual character made by unmistakeable eye contact only. The lack of spoken words often leads to misinterpretations with two very different conclusions by the two sexes. Probably with less confusion between same-sexed people.
In the stereotypical scenario, a man and a woman catch each other's eyes at a party. He concludes that she's committing to some serious monkey business and searches his wallet for a condom. She on the other hand feels very special and pretty and hopes to be asked out on a date. By the end of the evening at least one of them will be breaking their eye contract.
by Eartha KitKat April 28, 2010
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