you got the best hand

You doing better than me!

Your life is pretty good now.

I'd like to be I. Your shoes.

How are you doing? Man you got the best hand!

If I had your hand, I'd throw mine in!

by Onin2 October 29, 2020

scrumpy hands

A tradition in New Zealand. Where someone who is drinking scrumpy cider, tapes a 1.25L bottle either hand and is not allowed to remove them until they have finished the aforementioned bottle/s.
Typically popular in hospitality and university parties.

"Yo josh, did you see that noa is doing scrumpy hands tonight?"
"Lets hope he can finish them before needing to piss"

by Andrew Little December 17, 2023

2nd hand Dick Slap

A second hand dick slap is when a dog licks a dick then proceeds to lick you with thy

John:awe this peanut butter must make the dog lick my dong
Dog:wtf..... oooo peanut butter
Owner: ew why does your tongue taste like dick.... I just got 2nd hand dick slapped

by Blahblahpoop March 13, 2018

Left-handed Sponge

A product that has been over-engineered for a too specific purpose. A product is usually considered to be a left-handed sponge when it is marketed with a very specific purpose, yet another cheaper generic multi-purpose product can easily be used in its place.

Did you get some chain lube for your bike? Nah, it's a left-handed sponge. I just use WD-40.

by seanmft April 23, 2014

Professional Hand Clown

Referring to anyone who gets paid or compensated to do sexual favors with just their hands.

“Hey did you know Amber is a real Professional Hand Clown? Don’t tell anyone she doesn’t want her husband to find out.”

by SwingingDick69 May 13, 2022

Hand bagging

When a woman is so afraid of getting cum on her hand that she puts a lubed grocery bag on her hand to give you a hand job.

She’ll only give you a yank if she’s hand bagging.

I got hand bagged by this girl the other night.

by AceRoot October 22, 2023

Left-Handed Cappuccino

The process of giving a Left-Handed Cappuccino is described as soaking your left hand in near boiling full fat milk and aggressively jerking off the person who ordered it.

“Hi could I please order a Left-Handed Cappuccino?”

“Sure thing, would you like it dry or moist?”

“I’ll take it dry and dirty please, thank you”

by Agent Faggaballs October 22, 2025