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Procrastination monkey

A lazy person who often procrastinates and delays their work, often eats bananas and other fruits shaped like a planetarium to stay big and strong.
Johnny: Mike is such a procrastination monkey, he has big dreams that he wants to achieve yet he's just laying there on his couch doing nothing to reach them.
David: I think he has schizophrenia! Give him the pills Johnny!
by CookieLikeABookie January 4, 2023
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Flab Monkey

The fat friend of your group. Often is into and collects worthless junk. Usually eats pizza for breakfast.
by Dr. KLUE October 1, 2008
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cell monkey

A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.

This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).

Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.

It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?

Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 24, 2009
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buzz monkey

buzz monkey, a person with too much energy to dispose of in an orderly fashion.
she was dancing around like a hyperactive buzzmonkey on acid.
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puddle monkey

A tweaker who hangs out around other tweakers "usually broke" hoping for a chance to get a hit from the meth pipe
I cant believe that puddle monkey hasn't gone home yet
by penaTRAYshawn July 15, 2020
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Switch Monkey

A guy or girl that may be very attractive one day and floor-ugly the next.
I saw crazy Stacy at the bar on Wednesday and she was looking rough, then Saturday I asked for her number not even knowing it was her. That's a switch monkey for you.
by dunbfore June 23, 2010
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Monkey Poon

Noun
1. The act of getting sexual pleasure from a female
2. The pussy area of a female
3. A smelly vagina
1. "Yo last night was crazy as hell! I got some sweet monkey poon from Laquisha!"
by CoolConnor1985 November 2, 2010
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