A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.
This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).
Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).
Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.
It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?
Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?
Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 24, 2009
Get the cell monkeymug. A mixture of Four Loko and orange juice. A play on the traditional "brass monkey," consisting of a 40 of malt liquor and OJ.
Also known as "an even poorer man's mimosa."
Also known as "an even poorer man's mimosa."
by jgoodson28 January 24, 2011
Get the crass monkeymug. Another word for a woman. They are always running around making sandwiches like monkeys in a kitchen.
by FamousJew February 26, 2020
Get the Kitchen monkeymug. Does Bill 101 even apply to a monkey-womb, or any child in Quebec raised by a single father, whose father is French-Canadian but the mother is not? Btw, one of the definitions of bastard is the male version monkey-womb.
by Sexydimma February 8, 2014
Get the monkey-wombmug. by Xander (aka alex wileman the great) October 25, 2004
Get the buzz monkeymug. The fat friend of your group. Often is into and collects worthless junk. Usually eats pizza for breakfast.
by Dr. KLUE October 1, 2008
Get the Flab Monkeymug. What are you doing you fucking doss-monkey
by SublimeLime69 March 3, 2021
Get the doss-monkeymug.