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Monkey Sweater-Vest

(adj.) A description of, or having the qualities of, a male that one should have dated in high school, but did not. Used most often as a term describing regret.
Leslie: "Hey, do you remember Jeremiah from homeroom?"

Jennifer: "Yeah, he was so monkey sweater-vest. I feel like an idiot for not hooking up with him."
by YapMaster August 24, 2011
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suck a monkey off

when a guy sticks his dick in a girls ass and is brown like a monkey and you clean it off by means of a blowjob
last night i told parry to suck a monkey off and she did but sucked at it. that damn hoe.
by brady and prez June 28, 2006
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Monkey on your back

Addiction, mostly heroin/morphine addiction.
Hey dad, you been smacking da H again, quit it bitch, you have a monkey on your back

But the morphine eased the pain,
And the grass grew round his brain,
And gave him all the confidence he lacked,
With a Purple Heart and a monkey on his back.

There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,

-John Prine - 'Sam Stone' a song about a vietnam vet returning to the US with a monkey on his back.
by GG Allin11 September 1, 2013
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My Monkey Baby

implying that the baby you gave birth to is really fucking ugly.

Based on the TLC hit drama series "My Monkey Baby"
My Monkey Baby likes to wear make-up.

My Monkey Baby got super hiii off of my thyroid and estrogen pills.

We were caught speeding after picking up My Monkey Baby.

We had to sneak My Monkey Baby into a cheap motel because we were tired.

I haven't talked to my kids in 5 years because I have been to distracted by My Monkey Baby.

My Monkey Baby is 18 it can go buy cigarettes.

When I'm in a condominium for the Elderly My Monkey Baby will take care of me.

My Monkey Baby Mom's and Dad's aren't that different from other parents.

My Monkey Baby will outlive us so we set up the Will to include her.
by Spencer, Laryn & Ara October 5, 2009
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Surrender monkey

Look at that surrender monkey he must be french
by Memer_69 November 11, 2019
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crotch monkeys

The power of a computer, usually only a laptop computer. Strangely linked with the idea of cogs whirring in a human mind, the crotch monkeys do the sums inside the laptop. The more crotch monkeys - the faster the machine, and vice versa.
Jesus, look at that brand new apple jobbie, think how many crotch monkeys that fuck's got.
by Rawson September 21, 2003
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dance with your monkey

I'm sure that episode of Golden Girls got you pretty aroused, why don't you go lock yourself in the HR conference room and dance with your monkey for a while?
by Chancellor Berry Newt September 9, 2016
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