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Cost per Nut (CPN)

Cost per Nut (CPN) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”

In its simplest form:

CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)

MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.

Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.

Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.

CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.

In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"

"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
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Hold Your Own Nuts

When someone is using you, your name, or your cause to advance their own agenda instead of standing on their own without you they are not "holding their own nuts" and are holding someone else's nuts. Telling someone to "hold your own nuts" mean to stand on their own two feet--not stand on the shoulders of others.

Similar saying: "Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps".
She likes to use my name and accomplishments to gain favor for her own agenda. I told her , "Hold your own nuts"!
by PhoenixRising79 February 4, 2017
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Catch my nut

When someone wants to jerk off before doing something today
Friend; "Hey, let's hangout today"
Me; "Ok but first let me catch my nut"
by GuyFromTheDM'S August 12, 2016
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National Nut Day

October 22 is national nut day, the day where your goal is to buy more than 4 times in one day.
Dude: bro it’s national nut day

Bro: Ohh Dude sweet do you want to go do it together.
Dude: Sure Bro, Add bruh to the group chat
by SaltyWetNutterButters October 22, 2019
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crazy nut job

typically a bitch who "thinks" she's right, when she's no where's close and sticking to her guns, even though she's as far off base as fucking possible, therefore making her a crazy nut job.
Andy: hey man, whats up with her thinking she's all that?
Todd: I dunno bro
Andy: Must be yet another crazy nut job. Does she have a sponsor?
Todd: Yea, bitches be crazy society
by ccourt39 July 14, 2011
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Hubris’ one-nut bitch

An arrogant asshole who insults you during a conversation believing they are so intelligent that you did not pick up on it.
The manager at Jimmy’s porn shop symposium is such a Hubris’ one-nut bitch. He actually believed that I thought you used real horses in pony play.
by Bearman December 29, 2020
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Non Stop Nut November

An alternative Challenge for those who can't handle No Nut November. A Man must ejaculate at least 3 times a day aka bust a nut for the whole month of November.
Logan: Hey man did you try no nut November?
Paul: Nah man its Non Stop Nut November
Logan: It's okay I failed it anyway
by Wordwizz November 2, 2018
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