magic turd

a turd that is so clean that you don't have to wipe. Also known as a 'get up and go'.

'Dude i just had the most lovely magic turd'
'i thought you were quick'
'yeah i love it when there's no paperwork'

by thatowenz May 2, 2006

turd waddle

The act of waddling - with pants down around the ankles - from one public bathroom stall to the next in search of paper with which to clean the poo from ones unwiped poopchute. This movement is typically used when a tiny piece of turd neglected to dislodge itself from said rusty balloon knot and their is little more than one square of shit ticket left in said stall and the person that has performed the shit wants not to incur a skid mark on their undergarments.

Ahmed is such a dipshit, he should know by now that the county is fiscally challenged and made a cognisant decision to forego toilet paper in all county schools, oh well I guess I will have inform Mrs Parrymore that he will be late to class again due to his 2 hour turd waddle

by cornfritter October 22, 2010

turd bird

A simultaneously sincere and childish term of affection.

"Get going, turd bird."

by pass the mic. April 16, 2004

bird turd

Bird Shit, bird poop, bird doo

Although birds are pretty, one should never put out bird seed or bird food because that simply creates bird turds

by andy1 June 5, 2005

turd burp

Noun - A fart. To expell gas from one's anus.

Your wife's turd burps are fuckin' nasty!

by Howard Alan S. October 5, 2006

dougie turd

scottish rhyming slang for someone in scotland who got a 3rd as a degree.
From Douglas Hurd a tory minister form the 80s/90s
also see desmond tutu (2.2)

'What did you get in sociology Colin?' "Shit I only got a dougie turd'

by tadge72 April 24, 2010

Grape Turd

A piece of feces that is shaped like a grape and is a similar size. Similar to goat turds.

I went to a port-a-potty at the race to take a piss. There was a handful of grape turds in the bottom, but I pissed on them and busted'em up.

by chork November 29, 2005