In stark contrast to the old saying "head-over-heels", it's when you fall lustfully for someone at first sight.
Shanice wore her blouse open at work yesterday and totally had me hand-over-crotch. Had to crank one out in the bathroom during break
by bredsheeran81 October 25, 2024
While strolling through a grassy knoll and the sudden urge to relieve your bowels hits with extreme force. With no place to actually relieve yourself (out of fear of snakes, poisonous plants, and dysentery), your only option is to reach back and feel the warmth of yesterday’s meals filling your cupped hands.
I should have known that rancid bison meat I had last night would lead to a fresh prairie hand pie this morning.
by Ollieoz June 09, 2019
by Jawannamakemecum October 31, 2021
by Lyricalallnighter March 31, 2023
by Hannibal lecter November 01, 2014
The act of jerking an uncircumcised cock to completion, but holding the load in the foreskin by pinching it shut. Then blowing up the foreskin like a balloon. When quickly released, the resulting explosion delivers the mother of all facials.
Justin and his boyfriend were having a wonderful evening of watching Ryan Gosling movies and licking popcorn butter off each other’s nipples, when things started to get a little frisky. They started with the usual dick slapping, then moved on to a rousing game of “will it fit”. ( Spoiler alert, it always does). Justin finally had an idea to try something new he had heard about in his gay pride chat group. After some cajoling, his boyfriend was definitely down to clown.
Thirty-four minutes later, Justin awoke in the back of the white county ambulance, ears ringing, eyes stuck shut like a new born kitten. Justin asks, “wha-what happened?” A wise grey bearded paramedic reaches to put a hand his shoulder but then recoils, because…yuck. He informs Justin, “Son, you took a Norris City Hand Grenade straight to the face. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Justin is making progress managing his PTSD (post traumatic sperm disorder). But still to this day, while watching gay porn, if he sees an uncircumcised dick, he curls up in his fetal position ands yells “ incoming!”
Thirty-four minutes later, Justin awoke in the back of the white county ambulance, ears ringing, eyes stuck shut like a new born kitten. Justin asks, “wha-what happened?” A wise grey bearded paramedic reaches to put a hand his shoulder but then recoils, because…yuck. He informs Justin, “Son, you took a Norris City Hand Grenade straight to the face. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Justin is making progress managing his PTSD (post traumatic sperm disorder). But still to this day, while watching gay porn, if he sees an uncircumcised dick, he curls up in his fetal position ands yells “ incoming!”
by El Conquistador January 11, 2025