Table Simping

The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.
"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"

"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."
by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022
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I table

When a person thinks hes a table (something really common)
Me:hey timmy how ya doing?
Timmy:i prefer not to be called "timmy" i table now.
by Uncanny April 23, 2022
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Table salt

Asda table salt. SOOOOO goood on fries.
Person1: yo pass me that table salt for my chippies!!

Person2: aight bro!
by LANAMOOPMEEP October 14, 2023
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Table with no chair

There is a table with no chairs.
by Zhio March 27, 2022
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Table snake

A game played at dinner parties and other events. A male puts his penis on the table and waits for someone to notice by yelling "table snake!"
Whoever can go unnoticed the longest wins.
We played table snake at the Christmas party last night. Johnny won when it took 10mins for anyone to notice that his snake wasn't just a misplaced cabana.
by Professor Rosseforp March 11, 2021
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Bobby Tables

DROP TABLE (
SELECT table_name
FROM information_schema.`TABLES`
WHERE table_schema = 'myDatabase' AND table_name LIKE BINARY 'del%');
XKCD Comic # 327
Sanitize your DB Inputs Bobby Tables Comic
by Fritzwastaken September 03, 2022
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wood table

An ingrian or simple person, normally very pissy.
Kate Weaver and Michael Iovenko are wood tables after they tried to sell dope to the cops.
by ingrain99 May 16, 2016
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