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absolutes

The comparison of two items with properties. The first being that one average item trumps the other average item but if both items are "good" then the reverese is true and item 2 becomes better.
grass absolutes turf.

meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde
by Oh My Goodness :O December 31, 2024
mugGet the absolutesmug.

Absolute Doofus

Someone who is a little bit stupid, but you don't want to tell them that so you say this instead as a "joke"
OH MY GOD YOU ABSOLUTE DOOFUS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
by Jaquavious The Alien™ August 31, 2025
mugGet the Absolute Doofusmug.

Absolute Carrot

An Absolute Carrot is someone who isn't completely tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant; yet is just tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant enough to be agitating to others around them. These types of people are just discrete enough to the point where most people who actually interact with them understand they are deeply flawed, however, everyone else thinks that they are a great guy.
Mike: I have no clue why everyone invited Steven to come to Applebees with us, he told a 9/11 joke to the waitress.
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!
by EliTried December 21, 2021
mugGet the Absolute Carrotmug.

absolute gronk

Norman was an absolute gronk for hoarding all the idlis
by YaboyPK123 July 7, 2023
mugGet the absolute gronkmug.

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