ALABAMA PORCH MONKEY

a derogatory word for a person of African descent; a negro

1. The Alabama porch monkey tends to be lazy and would rather draw welfare than work.
2.The Alabama porch monkey likes to wear gold chains and drink malt liquor.

by Pittovsky July 21, 2008

Hot Monkey Love

To engage in hot serious sex. To go at it with the prowless of a monkey. In that you actually make each other wanna make noises similar to that of a screaming monkey.

We got our freak on last night, We made 'hot monkey love' !!

by krunchie December 3, 2003

white monkey job

A white person who is tricked with or without knowing that he or she doing the job as a face value of that company. These jobs are usually available in a country where there aren't a lot of "white" foreigners. Examples: a white person is asked work at a restaurant. The owner/manager would use that "white" foreigner as a face to their restaurant. This is where the restaurant might get more attention or people coming in to their restaurant. So, it is basically an advertisement.

Owner: Hey you want to work for our company?
White person: sure.
-behind- the - scenes
Shady business.
----
Owner: we got a white person in our company. He/she will make us a lot of money. "Muhaha"* <~~ no one really does that but go on<~~~
manager: muhaha
White monkey job is a white foreigner work at a restaurant/company. Etc . As a face value.

by Fantasticninja March 5, 2017

Purple Jizz Monkey

A Purple Jizz Monkey is the overly complex drink ordered by the d-bag in front of you at a crowded bar. Often served as a shooter, this drink is characterized by its convoluted and redundant ingredients, and is almost always ordered with 4 or 5 other equally impossible drinks. When the fuck-ram in front of you orders a Purple Jizz Monkey, this invariably delays your drink purchase by several minutes, and the chick you were talking to before you went to get drinks is probably already fucking some townie.

“Thanks a lot, Melvin, you took like 20 minutes to get our drinks and now we’re all sober.”
“Dude in front of me ordered like 5 purple jizz monkeys, my hands were tied.”

by Bill Sampson, Esq. February 21, 2009

tele-spankin' the monkey

Term for when IT or sales staff "work from home" three days per week.

You can't get any fuckin' thing done around here because those support pukes are tele-spankin' the monkey.

by Three Beers April 10, 2009

hot monkey sex

Very wild sexual intercourse that may or may not involve the use of monkeys.

After the annual Barn Dance, Joe-Bob and Mary-Joe had hot monkey sex in the stable, waking up all the animals in the process.

by Oprah February 25, 2003

crotch monkey

an STD that is highly contagious. It is to believed to have originated somewhere on GORDAN SCHWARTZ's gigantic ass.

"Yo, did you hear about T-dog? He came down with crotch monkeys!

by thadias April 19, 2003