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A Jonathan

The act of arriving late to ones internship after a particularly late night of hedonistic debauchery.
HR: Where's Val? Has anyone seen her?
Rai: She pulled a Jonathan.
HR: <confused face>
by ReadySetCuddle August 24, 2008
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Jonathan Bernier

See: Jamie Storr

Another wasted first round.
LGK FAN 1: Who is the best goaltender ever?
LGK FAN 2: Jonathan Bernier!

Voice of reason: Jonathan Bernier is no better than Jamie Storr.
by LGK Dana August 1, 2009
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Jonathan

A word describing a homosexual high schooler or human waste
"Oh, man i need to take a huge ass Jonathan"
"Jonathan is so gay he goes to Dickinson high school"
by 92614 April 10, 2015
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Jonathan

a jerk-like being that never answers his phone and is EXTREMELY irresponsable. he will pretend like he loves you sometimes, but DONT BE FOOLED. afterwards he will lie and ecieve you and not answer his phone.
UGH!!!! HE'S SUCH A JONATHAN!
by justthetruthfromme June 10, 2011
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jonathan

your being a jonathan
by WoWaYoN April 25, 2013
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Jonathan Safran Foer

J. S. Foer is a third-generation American-Jewish writer and so are all the characters he writes about. The worlds they inhabit, however, are fantastical, whimsical and full of war and sex, which, to Foer, are the deepest things there are as he is an atheist. He makes himself laugh in front of an open Microsoft Word document by typing phrases like "heavy boots" and "to have shit inbetween the brains" and "beating one's boner" and "dipshittake." He is married, which means he once had a girlfriend, which is surprising.

No, I do not have a girlfriend either, which is why I am on this site, making myself laugh in front of an open Internet Explorer Window.

His first novel was highly and almost ubiquitously acclaimed for its bravery, emotion, power, cleverness, insight, nobility, literary aesthetic, large paragraphs, typographical farts, and big words. These reviews made people who didn't review books confused, saying, often, "I thought it was really cool, but I didn't think it was...(quote from reviews here)."

Students of literature liked this book, because it was easy to interpret and write about at great lengths, and yet complex and open to different interpretations due to its abstractness of... not really symbolism, but something like that. Also, because it made them cry on every odd page and laugh on every even page.

His second was somewhat highly acclaimed because those critics who didn't hate it immensely felt awkward giving it a "OK" review in contrast to a terrible review.

These reviews made people who don't write reviews very confused about what they were supposed to like and what they were supposed to think was garbage.

Students of literature read this book and realized that Foer writes without any regard to meaning whatsoever, and are really upset that his work has been translated into over... what is it? Fifty languages? Seventy? because when the nuclear warhead drops on New York City like Foer thinks is going to happen, the people five-hundred years from now will have a copy of his second novel and think that that's the best that we could do.

derivatives:

Jonathan Safran Foery: (usually of a statement) clever in a way that makes one giggle as if on a lot of caffeine
Jonathan Safran Foer got a girlfriend and then lost his ability to write. I hope he'll get it back someday, because his first novel was sweet.
by glowoffirsttimethings September 4, 2008
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jonathan cassin

An absolute stud. A Jonathan is ripped with bulging biceps and a defined six pack. All the ladies love Jonathan but are intimidated by his pure amazingness. A Jonathan Is very social and popular but also very easy to talk to. Jonathans also enjoy the best music as they listen to Xxxtentacion regularly. One of the best things about a Jonathan is how humble he is; even though he is exceptional at every sport and video game, he is never cocky and always kind. The sexiest Jonathan’s prefer to be called “Pigeon Boy”.
Girl #1 :did you hear about that kid who broke the weight lifting record?

Girl #2 : yeah his name is Jonathan Cassin, but he is way out of our league.
by Dust12341 May 5, 2019
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